Re: Practical Jokes for Liberals

ditto

On Apr 7, 6:24 pm, Keith In Köln <keithinta...@gmail.com> wrote:
> <Grin>!
>
> Call me slow, but I don't recall either one of these and they are clasics!!
> Thanks for sharing these PlainOl!  (I suck at telling jokes, but I will try
> and remember these!)!!
>
> Good to see ya by the way!
>
> On Thu, Apr 7, 2011 at 10:58 PM, plainolamerican
> <plainolameri...@gmail.com>wrote:
>
>
>
> > For three years, the young Democrat took his vacations at a country
> > inn. He had an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward
> > to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the
> > inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her
> > lap!
> > "Why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried.
> > "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the
> > child would have my name!"
> > "Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat
> > up all night talkin' and talkin' and we finally decided it would be
> > better to have a bastard in the family than an Democrat."
>
> > On Apr 7, 3:52 pm, Travis <baconl...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > > Plaino:  I originally heard this as an Eichmann joke.
>
> > > On Thu, Apr 7, 2011 at 3:36 PM, plainolamerican
> > > <plainolameri...@gmail.com>wrote:
>
> > > > The old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called
> > > > his lawyer.
> > > > "I want to become a Democrat. Get me a change of registration form."
> > > > "You can do it", the lawyer said, "But why? You'll be dead soon, why
> > > > do you want to become a Democrat?"
> > > > "That's my business! Get me the form!" Four days later, the old man
> > > > got his registration changed. His lawyer was at his bedside making
> > > > sure his bill would be paid. Suddenly the old man was racked with fits
> > > > of coughing, and it was clear that this would be the end. Still
> > > > curious, the lawyer leaned over and said,
> > > > "Please, before it's too late, tell me why you wanted to become a
> > > > Democrat so badly before you died?" In a faint whisper, as he breathed
> > > > his last, the old man said:
> > > > "One less Democrat."
>
> > > > On Apr 7, 1:49 pm, Travis <baconl...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > > > >    The Looking Spoon Blog <http://www.thelookingspoon.com/blog.html>
> > > > > <
> >http://fusion.google.com/add?source=atgs&feedurl=http://feeds.feedbur..
> > > > .>
> > > > > ------------------------------
>
> > > > > Practical Jokes for
> > > > > Liberals<
> > > >http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thelookingspoon/Gprc/~3/-QwpGW4KhPs/22..
> > .>
>
> > > > > Posted: 01 Apr 2011 01:44 PM PDT
>
> > > > > April Fools Day seems like a good day for this list...they're not all
> > > > > "practical" jokes, some of these are just ways to mess with them.
> > > > > ----------
>
> > > > > Every April 1st send a birthday card to the Democratic Party.
>
> > > > > Tell some really hunky member of PETA that he's a beefcake (you might
> > > > have
> > > > > better luck hunting unicorn).
>
> > > > > Accuse a liberal of plagiarizing Biden every time they burp.
>
> > > > > Go the the Sierra Club office/treehouse and hang a sign outside the
> > > > bathroom
> > > > > reminding the tree huggers of the Golden Rule, therefore toilet paper
> > is
> > > > > hereby banned from use.
>
> > > > > Attend a speech given by Rahm Emanuel, make that beeping censor noise
> > > > every
> > > > > time he talks, except when he drops an F-bomb.
>
> > > > > Convince people to register Democrat by promising membership involves
> > > > lots
> > > > > of conveniently unspecific screwing.
>
> > > > > Send PETA a cease and desist order from People for the Ethical
> > Treatment
> > > > of
> > > > > Real Ocean Life (PETROL) informing them the pens their offices use
> > use
> > > > ink
> > > > > extracted from squid.
>
> > > > > Get the Koch brothers to sponsor a mailing of autographed pictures of
> > > > Scott
> > > > > Walker to all Democrats, yes, all of them.
>
> > > > > Petition the U.N. to make April 1st Global Warming Day.
>
> > > > > Get 10 friends together to watch MSNBC at the same time to create a
> > > > > mysterious ratings spike.
>
> > > > > Barge into a Planned Parenthood with a crying baby in your arms and
> > > > demand
> > > > > your money back.
>
> > > > > Go to any Democratic headquarters and announce that you are a
> > registered
> > > > > Republican and your tired of the way President Obama has been treated
> > and
> > > > > you're ready to show your support for him by re-registering to
> > Kenyan.
>
> > > > > Potentially start a Pakistani Muslim-esque riot by placing a personal
> > ad
> > > > on
> > > > > Craigslist in San Francisco titled "Looking For Love in all the Wrong
> > > > > Places" under the name G. Bush.
>
> > > > > Distribute "special" brownies at demonstrations to legalize
> > pot...neglect
> > > > to
> > > > > mention they're special because they're made with Ex-lax.
>
> > > > > Go into an uber-hipster coffee shop and throw a fit when they wont
> > give
> > > > you
> > > > > an off menu item, like coffee.
>
> > > > > Ask every long haired hippie man you see for their autograph and that
> > you
> > > > > love them on The View.
>
> > > > > Photoshop years out of Nancy Pelosi's Wikipedia photo to make her
> > look
> > > > 70.
>
> > > > > Brag to your liberal friends that you've decided to be friendlier to
> > the
> > > > > environment by taking your bike everywhere you go, and then prove it
> > by
> > > > > showing them how you keep it in the trunk of your car.
>
> > > > > Do the magic trick where you pull a coin out of a Democrat's ear, but
> > > > > instead of a coin use a mini plastic brain.
>
> > > > > Make them breathe a sigh of relief by telling them Helen Thomas is
> > now
> > > > > registered Republican.
>
> > > > > Get liberals to sign a petition forcing a Jeopardy showdown between
> > the
> > > > > super-computer WATSON and TOTUS.
>
> > > > > Barge into Planned Parenthood with a wire hanger and brag about how
> > they
> > > > > taught you everything you know about choice.
>
> > > > > Program the auto correct feature on their word processor to change
> > words
> > > > > like "revolution" and "fair share" and "progressive," or anything
> > else
> > > > that
> > > > > sounds like liberal whining into "I <3 Reagan."
>
> > > > > Change the nationality of every Democrat bio on Wikipedia to "Hell."
>
> > > > > Make national news by starting a CNN fan club.
>
> > > > > Biden's Idea For Energy
> > > > > Independence<
> > > >http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thelookingspoon/Gprc/~3/yzakar4PM2A/22..
> > .>
>
> > > > > Posted: 01 Apr 2011 09:30 AM PDT
>
> > > > > Check out my collection of Biden "toons" (including this one) in the
> > top
> > > > > navigation links at "Biden the April
> > > > > Fool<http://www.thelookingspoon.com/biden-the-april-fool.html>
> > > > > ."
>
> > > > >   You are subscribed to email updates from
> > > > > Blog<http://www.thelookingspoon.com/blog.html>
> > > > > To stop receiving these emails, you may unsubscribe
> > > > > now<
> > > >http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailunsubscribe?k=sPXVFa54PAdcEz_Hi..
> > .>
> > > > > . Email delivery powered by Google Google Inc., 20 West Kinzie,
> > Chicago
> > > > IL
> > > > > USA 60610
>
> > > > --
> > > > Thanks for being part of "PoliticalForum" at Google Groups.
> > > > For options & help seehttp://groups.google.com/group/PoliticalForum
>
> > > > * Visit our other community athttp://www.PoliticalForum.com/<
> >http://www.politicalforum.com/>
> > > > * It's active and moderated. Register and vote in our polls.
> > > > * Read the latest breaking news, and more.
>
> > --
> > Thanks for being part of "PoliticalForum" at Google Groups.
> > For options & help seehttp://groups.google.com/group/PoliticalForum
>
> > * Visit our other community athttp://www.PoliticalForum.com/
> > * It's active and moderated. Register and vote in our polls.
> > * Read the latest breaking news, and more.

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Re: a classic ...

My thoughts exactly. 

On Thu, Apr 7, 2011 at 5:24 PM, plainolamerican <plainolamerican@gmail.com> wrote:

Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about
it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible
man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of
every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he
does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has
a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and
anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke
and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!

But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs
money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise,
somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of
dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now,
you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!

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Blame the Republicans

"Now the Republicans command the House of Representatives. So what does this mean? The House controls the purse strings. No official appropriation can pass without House approval. This means that any deficit spending, any unconstitutional spending, any irresponsible spending, any spending on anything that violates liberty or undermines the economy can be blamed fully on the Republicans."

Blame the Republicans
Posted by Anthony Gregory on April 7, 2011

Of course, the Democrats are spendthrifts at their core. They have a seemingly invincible faith in government spending, and to say they are stubborn in their refusal to accept anything approaching a substantial cut would be a gross understatement. But Democrats are known for this quality. They may once in a while pay lip service to going "line by line" and eliminating waste -- as Obama did -- but almost no one believes this. And if anyone actually did believe it when Obama promised it, the whole idea behind this vow was that Obama was different from your average Democrat. Tax-and-spend characterizes both the phenotype and genotype of the Democratic Party.

Republicans, however, pretend to be different. They've pretended to oppose lavish spending at least since the Great Society. In the following years it has always been a key GOP talking point to oppose "big government" and "wasteful spending." This is what Reagan's revolution was always about. This is what swept Republicans into power over Congress in the wake of the 1994 elections, after forty years of being the minority in the legislature. Promises of lower spending were in the background when George W. Bush won the White House. These promises were absolutely critical in the midterm upset of 2010.

Now the Republicans command the House of Representatives. So what does this mean? The House controls the purse strings. No official appropriation can pass without House approval. This means that any deficit spending, any unconstitutional spending, any irresponsible spending, any spending on anything that violates liberty or undermines the economy can be blamed fully on the Republicans.

To say this is not to indemnify the Democrats. It is possible for both parties to be completely blameworthy. If five gunmen all serve on a firing squad to execute a man they know to be innocent, and they all pull the trigger, they are all 100% guilty. Blame does not work the way credit does. We share credit. But with blame, there is often more than 100% to go around.

And the Republicans deserve 100% blame for what the federal government does from here on forward. Even Obama's presidential decrees can usually be reined in by sufficient Congressional determination. But let's put that aside and just focus on the out of control spending. It's all the Republicans' fault. Never forget it.

Now, some will protest. They will point out that all it takes is a handful of Republicans and the Democrats can pass irresponsible budgets. This complaint ignores three important points.

One, if this is the Republicans' excuse for failing to restrain government growth, much less reverse it and reduce the size of government, then we are pretty much doomed. Why's that? The Republicans always say, "Just give us Congress, and we'll prove that we're for limited government." They did that last election cycle. Even when they have all of Congress, they say, "Just give us the presidency, and then we'll cut government." That's what they did in 2000. But when they run the presidency and Congress, they are shameless big spenders. To suggest they throw away money like drunken sailors is an insult to sailors as well as an exaggeration of the effects of alcohol on one's financial judgment. Give me a drunken sailor any day, compared to the trillion dollar bonanzas -- Iraq and Medicare D among them -- the Republicans deliver when they're unchecked. On the other hand, those of us who assume gridlock is better than single-party rule are invariably treated to the spectacle of seeing the Republicans complain that without a greater control over the federal government, they are helpless to cut back government.

Two, the Republicans, like the Democrats, are politicians, and when a few of them vote with the other side, don't automatically assume that it is in betrayal of the party's true agenda. The leadership of both parties is dedicated to government growth across the board. But they do have to play politics and please their constituencies. There is an unspoken game these crooks play, whereby they all knowingly let many bills pass with just barely the necessary margin for victory. Meanwhile, the rest of the "opposition" party pretends it's disappointed in its rogue members. The Republicans whose constituents would be most dissatisfied with a Republican compromise with Democrats will hold their ground, knowing that other Republicans can afford to vote with the Democrats and advance the interest that unites virtually all of them­the interest of expanding government power in practically all directions.

Three, the Republicans are not proposing anything better than the Democrats anyway. Sure, they want to pass budgets that are a few tens of billions less than what the Democrats are pushing, but that hardly amounts to rounding error. It is all theater. If the Republicans actually proposed to cut a trillion dollars from the budget this year, only to see a few of them cave and vote with the Democrats, maybe we could refrain from blaming the whole bunch. But that's never what happens. They propose measly, tiny cuts to pretend they are principled -- or slightly larger cuts they know won't pass even within their party, cuts that sound like a mark of revolutionary thinking until you realize they amount to less than half the deficit -- and expect us to cheer for them for standing up to those "big-government" Democrats.

Whatever happens -- government shutdown or no shutdown -- the United States will soon enough overcome this "problem" of not having a budget and the devalued money will continue to flow out of Washington, as it is doing now, but with the explicit endorsement of the president and both houses of Congress. When that happens, there will be plenty of blame to go around. But the Republicans as much as anyone will deserve all of it.

http://johndennisreport.com/uncategorized/blame-the-republicans

Re: Practical Jokes for Liberals

<Grin>! 

 

Call me slow, but I don't recall either one of these and they are clasics!!  Thanks for sharing these PlainOl!  (I suck at telling jokes, but I will try and remember these!)!!

 

Good to see ya by the way!

 

 

On Thu, Apr 7, 2011 at 10:58 PM, plainolamerican <plainolamerican@gmail.com> wrote:

For three years, the young Democrat took his vacations at a country
inn. He had an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward
to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the
inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her
lap!
"Why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried.
"I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the
child would have my name!"
"Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat
up all night talkin' and talkin' and we finally decided it would be
better to have a bastard in the family than an Democrat."

On Apr 7, 3:52 pm, Travis <baconl...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Plaino:  I originally heard this as an Eichmann joke.
>
> On Thu, Apr 7, 2011 at 3:36 PM, plainolamerican

> <plainolameri...@gmail.com>wrote:

>
>
>
> > The old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called
> > his lawyer.
> > "I want to become a Democrat. Get me a change of registration form."
> > "You can do it", the lawyer said, "But why? You'll be dead soon, why
> > do you want to become a Democrat?"
> > "That's my business! Get me the form!" Four days later, the old man
> > got his registration changed. His lawyer was at his bedside making
> > sure his bill would be paid. Suddenly the old man was racked with fits
> > of coughing, and it was clear that this would be the end. Still
> > curious, the lawyer leaned over and said,
> > "Please, before it's too late, tell me why you wanted to become a
> > Democrat so badly before you died?" In a faint whisper, as he breathed
> > his last, the old man said:
> > "One less Democrat."
>
> > On Apr 7, 1:49 pm, Travis <baconl...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > >    The Looking Spoon Blog <http://www.thelookingspoon.com/blog.html>
> > > <http://fusion.google.com/add?source=atgs&feedurl=http://feeds.feedbur..
> > .>
> > > ------------------------------
>
> > > Practical Jokes for
> > > Liberals<
> >http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thelookingspoon/Gprc/~3/-QwpGW4KhPs/22...>
>
> > > Posted: 01 Apr 2011 01:44 PM PDT
>
> > > April Fools Day seems like a good day for this list...they're not all
> > > "practical" jokes, some of these are just ways to mess with them.
> > > ----------
>
> > > Every April 1st send a birthday card to the Democratic Party.
>
> > > Tell some really hunky member of PETA that he's a beefcake (you might
> > have
> > > better luck hunting unicorn).
>
> > > Accuse a liberal of plagiarizing Biden every time they burp.
>
> > > Go the the Sierra Club office/treehouse and hang a sign outside the
> > bathroom
> > > reminding the tree huggers of the Golden Rule, therefore toilet paper is
> > > hereby banned from use.
>
> > > Attend a speech given by Rahm Emanuel, make that beeping censor noise
> > every
> > > time he talks, except when he drops an F-bomb.
>
> > > Convince people to register Democrat by promising membership involves
> > lots
> > > of conveniently unspecific screwing.
>
> > > Send PETA a cease and desist order from People for the Ethical Treatment
> > of
> > > Real Ocean Life (PETROL) informing them the pens their offices use use
> > ink
> > > extracted from squid.
>
> > > Get the Koch brothers to sponsor a mailing of autographed pictures of
> > Scott
> > > Walker to all Democrats, yes, all of them.
>
> > > Petition the U.N. to make April 1st Global Warming Day.
>
> > > Get 10 friends together to watch MSNBC at the same time to create a
> > > mysterious ratings spike.
>
> > > Barge into a Planned Parenthood with a crying baby in your arms and
> > demand
> > > your money back.
>
> > > Go to any Democratic headquarters and announce that you are a registered
> > > Republican and your tired of the way President Obama has been treated and
> > > you're ready to show your support for him by re-registering to Kenyan.
>
> > > Potentially start a Pakistani Muslim-esque riot by placing a personal ad
> > on
> > > Craigslist in San Francisco titled "Looking For Love in all the Wrong
> > > Places" under the name G. Bush.
>
> > > Distribute "special" brownies at demonstrations to legalize pot...neglect
> > to
> > > mention they're special because they're made with Ex-lax.
>
> > > Go into an uber-hipster coffee shop and throw a fit when they wont give
> > you
> > > an off menu item, like coffee.
>
> > > Ask every long haired hippie man you see for their autograph and that you
> > > love them on The View.
>
> > > Photoshop years out of Nancy Pelosi's Wikipedia photo to make her look
> > 70.
>
> > > Brag to your liberal friends that you've decided to be friendlier to the
> > > environment by taking your bike everywhere you go, and then prove it by
> > > showing them how you keep it in the trunk of your car.
>
> > > Do the magic trick where you pull a coin out of a Democrat's ear, but
> > > instead of a coin use a mini plastic brain.
>
> > > Make them breathe a sigh of relief by telling them Helen Thomas is now
> > > registered Republican.
>
> > > Get liberals to sign a petition forcing a Jeopardy showdown between the
> > > super-computer WATSON and TOTUS.
>
> > > Barge into Planned Parenthood with a wire hanger and brag about how they
> > > taught you everything you know about choice.
>
> > > Program the auto correct feature on their word processor to change words
> > > like "revolution" and "fair share" and "progressive," or anything else
> > that
> > > sounds like liberal whining into "I <3 Reagan."
>
> > > Change the nationality of every Democrat bio on Wikipedia to "Hell."
>
> > > Make national news by starting a CNN fan club.
>
> > > Biden's Idea For Energy
> > > Independence<
> >http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thelookingspoon/Gprc/~3/yzakar4PM2A/22...>
>
> > > Posted: 01 Apr 2011 09:30 AM PDT
>
> > > Check out my collection of Biden "toons" (including this one) in the top
> > > navigation links at "Biden the April
> > > Fool<http://www.thelookingspoon.com/biden-the-april-fool.html>
> > > ."
>
> > >   You are subscribed to email updates from
> > > Blog<http://www.thelookingspoon.com/blog.html>
> > > To stop receiving these emails, you may unsubscribe
> > > now<
> >http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailunsubscribe?k=sPXVFa54PAdcEz_Hi...>
> > > . Email delivery powered by Google Google Inc., 20 West Kinzie, Chicago
> > IL
> > > USA 60610
>
> > --
> > Thanks for being part of "PoliticalForum" at Google Groups.

> > For options & help seehttp://groups.google.com/group/PoliticalForum
>
> > * Visit our other community athttp://www.PoliticalForum.com/<http://www.politicalforum.com/>

> > * It's active and moderated. Register and vote in our polls.
> > * Read the latest breaking news, and more.

--
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Re: 'Atlas Shrugged': First Movie to Target the Tea Party

Can't wait to see it, and, perhaps, kill it (or not)

What kills me is the folk, self-described liberals, who cliam if you
are so much as interested in it you suck.

That puts the D in D-umb.

No offense, Nominal9

If te worst thing Ayn made ya do, is think...she be good by me.

On Apr 7, 5:35 pm, Travis <baconl...@gmail.com> wrote:
>    --------------------------
>
> [image: The Hollywood Reporter] <http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/>
>  'Atlas Shrugged': First Movie to Target the Tea Party
>
> 6:03 PM 4/6/2011 by Paul Bond
>
> *share*
>
> ·                                 *Comments
> (11)<http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/atlas-shrugged-first-movie-targ...>
> *
>
>  138
>
> *[image: Leading Role]*
>
> *Courtesy of The Strike Productions*
> About 9 million adults are active Tea Partiers, and 45 million support the
> movement, a CBS/New York Times poll says.
>
> *Atlas Shrugged**, a novel in which society's most productive citizens
> choose to disappear, was published in 1957, and filmmakers have spent nearly
> every year since trying to adapt it. They finally succeeded, and the first
> part of what's planned as a trilogy comes out April 15. If you didn't know
> that, it's likely you're not a member of the Tea Party.*
>
> *It was probably only a matter of time before Hollywood tried tapping the
> e-mail lists and social networks of the giant political movement, as
> distributor Rocky Mountain Pictures and filmmakers including co-producer
> Harmon Kaslow have for Atlas Shrugged: Part 1.*
>
> *Despite years of cinematic interest and high hopes for stars and funding,
> the film was made for less than $10 million, with Taylor Schilling — who
> appeared on NBC's short-lived Mercy — playing protagonist Dagny Taggart.*
>
> *By Hollywood standards, the marketing budget is tiny, so word-of-mouth from
> Tea Partiers sympathetic to the film's message is crucial to its success.*
>
> *The film is also the perfect test case to see whether such an effort can
> work because Ayn Rand's novel extols free markets and entrepreneurialism and
> excoriates government coercion and overtaxation, values that unite Tea
> Partiers. In fact, rallies invariably feature signs that mimic the book's
> opening line: "Who Is John Galt?" Another common sign at Tea Party rallies
> asks, "Is Atlas Shrugging?" If Hollywood can't persuade this demographic to
> support Atlas, it might as well write off the Tea Party as a marketing
> source.*
>
> *About 9 million adults are active Tea Partiers, and 45 million support the
> movement, a CBS/New York Times poll says. The makers of Atlas have been
> working to get organizers to insert mentions of the film into the millions
> of e-mails that go out to the faithful, and Tea Partiers have obliged. Many
> have also attended screenings and are satisfied that the movie adheres to
> Rand's principles of objectivism, individualism and self-responsibility.*
>
> *One recent e-mail to Tea Partiers in California, for example, alerted
> members of upcoming Freedom Rallies. But it also included a link to the
> movie's trailer, the name of the local theater that has booked the film and
> the line, "Mark your calendars for a celebration of capitalism."*
>
> *Matt Kibbe, president of FreedomWorks, an organization that predates the
> Tea Party but has become aligned with it, has attended five screenings and
> recommended the film through an e-mail sent to 1 million Tea Partiers, many
> of whom forwarded the message to others on different lists, and so on.*
>
> *"That's the power of the Tea Party," Kibbe says. "The people with the best
> e-mail lists are the local leaders. Our job was to push it to those
> leaders."*
>
> *He uses the word "job" loosely because no money changed hands. "It's all
> done from the bottom up through a viral network on a volunteer basis," he
> says.*
>
> *Adds Kaslow, "They have a very efficient means of communicating via e-mail,
> and it seems to be working well for us."*
>
> *Kibbe has also pushed the movie to users of FreedomConnector.com, a social
> network for Tea Partiers that was created by FreedomWorks and is promoted by
> Fox News star Glenn Beck.*
>
> *Atlas** might be the first feature marketed through the Tea Party, but it
> probably won't be the last. "If there is a movie that connects with the
> ethos of the Tea Party, I'm going to push it out to them," Kibbe says.*
>
> *The movie should connect, though it is devoid of the heavy-duty ideological
> speeches. Instead, there are one-liners that will jump out at Randians but
> could fall flat with the uninitiated, who might wonder why they invested 90
> minutes in a mystery that doesn't have much humor or action and ends on a
> cliff-hanger.*
>
> *As in the book, dishonest bureaucrats sell to gullible voters "The
> Anti-Dog-Eat-Dog Rule" and "The Equalization of Opportunity Bill" as
> altruistic pieces of legislation designed to even things out but which
> actually make things much worse. Those who back big labor unions and agitate
> for government handouts, bailouts and intervention are society's moochers.*
>
> *The movie is set in 2016 as oil spills, pirates, high gas prices and a bad
> economy dominate headlines. The bad guys talk of "social progress" and
> businesses being made to "lend a helping hand." One hero, in contrast,
> describes himself as "someone who knows what it's like to work for himself
> and not let others feed off the profits of his energy."*
>
> *But while there's lots to whet the appetite of Tea Partiers, getting them
> in theaters is another matter. The film will open Tax Day — not chosen at
> random — on 200 screens, unless the distributor sees a sudden surge in early
> bookings.*
>
> *Beyond e-mails to Tea Partiers, producers have sent the film to
> conservative commentators John Stossel, Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity,
> hoping they'll mention it favorably on their TV and radio shows and prompt
> consumers to ask their local theaters to book the movie. It's working. Radio
> host Neal Boortz, for example, recently tweeted: "You want Atlas Shrugged
> shown in your city? Here's the website to make your wishes known.http://tinyurl.com/WeWantAtlas."<http://tinyurl.com/WeWantAtlas.>*
>
> *The film was directed by Paul Johansson. Some might find it off-putting
> that the director, known for his work in television, voted for Barack Obama.
> But John Aglialoro, the businessman who financed, co-wrote and co-produced
> the movie, didn't ask Johansson about his politics.*
>
> *"I read it when I was 17, and it changed my life," says Johansson, who also
> appears as the shadowy John Galt in the film. "It gave me permission to be
> who I am. It taught me that it's OK to stand alone and not be part of a
> group."*
>
> *Lots of Americans might agree: A 1991 survey by the Library of Congress and
> the Book-of-the-Month Club determined that Atlas Shrugged was the
> second-most-influential book in history behind the Bible. The next three
> works of fiction on that list — To Kill a Mockingbird, The Lord of the
> Ringsand Gone
> With the Wind — have already become Hollywood blockbusters. Don't expect
> Atlas to replicate that sort of success, though. Aglialoro needs only to
> make some money with it, or the subsequent two installments will be scrapped
> and the novice filmmaker will abandon other projects on which he's working.*
>
> *"If it bombs, I will not make another movie," he says.*
>
> *The first installment of Atlas was 44 years in the making because Rand and
> Hollywood couldn't agree on how to bring the book's 1,168 pages to the
> screen.*
>
> *Through the years, big names have attached themselves to film or TV
> versions, but the film was made without A-listers and is being distributed
> by a Utah-based indie with an affinity for political and religious themes.
> *
>
> *"Talent agencies were not sending us many of their top people," Kaslow
> says. "I don't think it was political. We just suffered a credibility issue
> because everyone knew that a lot of well-known people had already tried to
> get this movie made."*
>
> *Aglialoro, who paid Rand's heir Leonard Peikoff $1.1 million for rights to
> Atlas in 1992, ended up rushing it into production to prevent them from
> reverting. He beat the deadline by two days; Peikoff lost faith in the
> filmmakers over 19 years and said through a colleague that he fears the film
> doesn't sufficiently reflect Rand's philosophy.*
>
> *Reviews suggest otherwise. "There is not a moment where an honest fan of
> Rand could say that the makers of this film just didn't get it," wrote Brian
> Doherty at Reason.com.*
>
> *Johansson expects a passionate reaction to the film. "If we had the perfect
> script, perfect actors and unlimited money, we'd still be under a microscope
> because of the source material," he says. "It's like holy text to some
> people."*
>
> *A Long History of **Atlas Shrugged** Heroines**
> At one time or another, these actresses were discussed to play Dagny Taggart
> *
>
> *Atlas Shrugged** makes its way to the big screen April 15, though in more
> modest form than originally envisioned. That's because many attempts at
> big-budget treatments of the 1,168-page book fizzled.*
>
> *Ayn Rand was trying to develop her 1957 novel into a miniseries or film
> around 1972, and she expressed a desire to have Fritz Lang or Alfred
> Hitchcock direct. Rand died 10 years later after completing less than half a
> script for a nine-hour teleplay, according to Jeff Britting of the Ayn Rand
> Institute.*
>
> *Perhaps the most notable attempt at a movie came from producer Albert
> Ruddy, who was attracted to the project just after releasing The
> Godfatherin 1972. The deal blew up when Rand demanded veto rights over
> editing.
> *
>
> *During the late '70s, Rand worked with producers Henry Jaffe and his son
> Michael to create an eight-hour miniseries for NBC. Rand imagined that
> Raquel Welch or Farrah Fawcett would play heroine Dagny Taggart, but the
> project was scuttled when the network named Fred Silverman its president in
> 1978, according to Anne C. Heller, author of Ayn Rand and the World She Made
> .*
>
> *Philip Anschutz tried and failed, as did Baldwin Entertainment Group.
> Lionsgate gave it a shot, with a script rewritten by Randall Wallace, the
> Oscar-nominated writer of Braveheart; insiders say he also wanted to direct
> the movie. The deal fell apart when Angelina Jolie chose to star in Clint
> Eastwood's Changeling instead, then got pregnant in 2008. The recession
> didn't help.*
>
> *Others who discussed playing Taggart on TV or film include Sharon Stone,
> Anne Hathaway, Charlize Theron, Julia Roberts, Cate Blanchett, Maggie
> Gyllenhaal and Keira Knightley. In the end, Atlas Shrugged: Part I was made
> for less than $10 million, and Taggart is played by relative unknown Taylor
> Schilling.     *
>
> * *
>
>  image002.jpg
> 111KViewDownload
>
>  image001.gif
> 2KViewDownload

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a classic ...

Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about
it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible
man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of
every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he
does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has
a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and
anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke
and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!

But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs
money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise,
somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of
dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now,
you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!

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-------------------------- 

 'Atlas Shrugged': First Movie to Target the Tea Party

6:03 PM 4/6/2011 by Paul Bond

share

·                                 Comments (11)

 138

Courtesy of The Strike Productions

About 9 million adults are active Tea Partiers, and 45 million support the movement, a CBS/New York Times poll says.

Atlas Shrugged, a novel in which society's most productive citizens choose to disappear, was published in 1957, and filmmakers have spent nearly every year since trying to adapt it. They finally succeeded, and the first part of what's planned as a trilogy comes out April 15. If you didn't know that, it's likely you're not a member of the Tea Party.

It was probably only a matter of time before Hollywood tried tapping the e-mail lists and social networks of the giant political movement, as distributor Rocky Mountain Pictures and filmmakers including co-producer Harmon Kaslow have for Atlas Shrugged: Part 1.

Despite years of cinematic interest and high hopes for stars and funding, the film was made for less than $10 million, with Taylor Schilling — who appeared on NBC's short-lived Mercy — playing protagonist Dagny Taggart.

By Hollywood standards, the marketing budget is tiny, so word-of-mouth from Tea Partiers sympathetic to the film's message is crucial to its success.

The film is also the perfect test case to see whether such an effort can work because Ayn Rand's novel extols free markets and entrepreneurialism and excoriates government coercion and overtaxation, values that unite Tea Partiers. In fact, rallies invariably feature signs that mimic the book's opening line: "Who Is John Galt?" Another common sign at Tea Party rallies asks, "Is Atlas Shrugging?" If Hollywood can't persuade this demographic to support Atlas, it might as well write off the Tea Party as a marketing source.

About 9 million adults are active Tea Partiers, and 45 million support the movement, a CBS/New York Times poll says. The makers of Atlas have been working to get organizers to insert mentions of the film into the millions of e-mails that go out to the faithful, and Tea Partiers have obliged. Many have also attended screenings and are satisfied that the movie adheres to Rand's principles of objectivism, individualism and self-responsibility.

One recent e-mail to Tea Partiers in California, for example, alerted members of upcoming Freedom Rallies. But it also included a link to the movie's trailer, the name of the local theater that has booked the film and the line, "Mark your calendars for a celebration of capitalism."

Matt Kibbe, president of FreedomWorks, an organization that predates the Tea Party but has become aligned with it, has attended five screenings and recommended the film through an e-mail sent to 1 million Tea Partiers, many of whom forwarded the message to others on different lists, and so on.

"That's the power of the Tea Party," Kibbe says. "The people with the best e-mail lists are the local leaders. Our job was to push it to those leaders."

He uses the word "job" loosely because no money changed hands. "It's all done from the bottom up through a viral network on a volunteer basis," he says.

Adds Kaslow, "They have a very efficient means of communicating via e-mail, and it seems to be working well for us."

Kibbe has also pushed the movie to users of FreedomConnector.com, a social network for Tea Partiers that was created by FreedomWorks and is promoted by Fox News star Glenn Beck.

Atlas might be the first feature marketed through the Tea Party, but it probably won't be the last. "If there is a movie that connects with the ethos of the Tea Party, I'm going to push it out to them," Kibbe says.

The movie should connect, though it is devoid of the heavy-duty ideological speeches. Instead, there are one-liners that will jump out at Randians but could fall flat with the uninitiated, who might wonder why they invested 90 minutes in a mystery that doesn't have much humor or action and ends on a cliff-hanger.

As in the book, dishonest bureaucrats sell to gullible voters "The Anti-Dog-Eat-Dog Rule" and "The Equalization of Opportunity Bill" as altruistic pieces of legislation designed to even things out but which actually make things much worse. Those who back big labor unions and agitate for government handouts, bailouts and intervention are society's moochers.

The movie is set in 2016 as oil spills, pirates, high gas prices and a bad economy dominate headlines. The bad guys talk of "social progress" and businesses being made to "lend a helping hand." One hero, in contrast, describes himself as "someone who knows what it's like to work for himself and not let others feed off the profits of his energy."

But while there's lots to whet the appetite of Tea Partiers, getting them in theaters is another matter. The film will open Tax Day — not chosen at random — on 200 screens, unless the distributor sees a sudden surge in early bookings.

Beyond e-mails to Tea Partiers, producers have sent the film to conservative commentators John Stossel, Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity, hoping they'll mention it favorably on their TV and radio shows and prompt consumers to ask their local theaters to book the movie. It's working. Radio host Neal Boortz, for example, recently tweeted: "You want Atlas Shrugged shown in your city? Here's the website to make your wishes known. http://tinyurl.com/WeWantAtlas."

The film was directed by Paul Johansson. Some might find it off-putting that the director, known for his work in television, voted for Barack Obama. But John Aglialoro, the businessman who financed, co-wrote and co-produced the movie, didn't ask Johansson about his politics.

"I read it when I was 17, and it changed my life," says Johansson, who also appears as the shadowy John Galt in the film. "It gave me permission to be who I am. It taught me that it's OK to stand alone and not be part of a group."

Lots of Americans might agree: A 1991 survey by the Library of Congress and the Book-of-the-Month Club determined that Atlas Shrugged was the second-most-influential book in history behind the Bible. The next three works of fiction on that list — To Kill a Mockingbird, The Lord of the Rings and Gone With the Wind — have already become Hollywood blockbusters. Don't expect Atlas to replicate that sort of success, though. Aglialoro needs only to make some money with it, or the subsequent two installments will be scrapped and the novice filmmaker will abandon other projects on which he's working.

"If it bombs, I will not make another movie," he says.

The first installment of Atlas was 44 years in the making because Rand and Hollywood couldn't agree on how to bring the book's 1,168 pages to the screen.

Through the years, big names have attached themselves to film or TV versions, but the film was made without A-listers and is being distributed by a Utah-based indie with an affinity for political and religious themes.  

"Talent agencies were not sending us many of their top people," Kaslow says. "I don't think it was political. We just suffered a credibility issue because everyone knew that a lot of well-known people had already tried to get this movie made."

Aglialoro, who paid Rand's heir Leonard Peikoff $1.1 million for rights to Atlas in 1992, ended up rushing it into production to prevent them from reverting. He beat the deadline by two days; Peikoff lost faith in the filmmakers over 19 years and said through a colleague that he fears the film doesn't sufficiently reflect Rand's philosophy.

Reviews suggest otherwise. "There is not a moment where an honest fan of Rand could say that the makers of this film just didn't get it," wrote Brian Doherty at Reason.com.

Johansson expects a passionate reaction to the film. "If we had the perfect script, perfect actors and unlimited money, we'd still be under a microscope because of the source material," he says. "It's like holy text to some people."

A Long History of Atlas Shrugged Heroines
At one time or another, these actresses were discussed to play Dagny Taggart

Atlas Shrugged makes its way to the big screen April 15, though in more modest form than originally envisioned. That's because many attempts at big-budget treatments of the 1,168-page book fizzled.

Ayn Rand was trying to develop her 1957 novel into a miniseries or film around 1972, and she expressed a desire to have Fritz Lang or Alfred Hitchcock direct. Rand died 10 years later after completing less than half a script for a nine-hour teleplay, according to Jeff Britting of the Ayn Rand Institute.

Perhaps the most notable attempt at a movie came from producer Albert Ruddy, who was attracted to the project just after releasing The Godfather in 1972. The deal blew up when Rand demanded veto rights over editing.

During the late '70s, Rand worked with producers Henry Jaffe and his son Michael to create an eight-hour miniseries for NBC. Rand imagined that Raquel Welch or Farrah Fawcett would play heroine Dagny Taggart, but the project was scuttled when the network named Fred Silverman its president in 1978, according to Anne C. Heller, author of Ayn Rand and the World She Made.

Philip Anschutz tried and failed, as did Baldwin Entertainment Group. Lionsgate gave it a shot, with a script rewritten by Randall Wallace, the Oscar-nominated writer of Braveheart; insiders say he also wanted to direct the movie. The deal fell apart when Angelina Jolie chose to star in Clint Eastwood's Changeling instead, then got pregnant in 2008. The recession didn't help.

Others who discussed playing Taggart on TV or film include Sharon Stone, Anne Hathaway, Charlize Theron, Julia Roberts, Cate Blanchett, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Keira Knightley. In the end, Atlas Shrugged: Part I was made for less than $10 million, and Taggart is played by relative unknown Taylor Schilling.     

 

 

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Re: Practical Jokes for Liberals

For three years, the young Democrat took his vacations at a country
inn. He had an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward
to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the
inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her
lap!
"Why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried.
"I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the
child would have my name!"
"Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat
up all night talkin' and talkin' and we finally decided it would be
better to have a bastard in the family than an Democrat."

On Apr 7, 3:52 pm, Travis <baconl...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Plaino:  I originally heard this as an Eichmann joke.
>
> On Thu, Apr 7, 2011 at 3:36 PM, plainolamerican
> <plainolameri...@gmail.com>wrote:
>
>
>
> > The old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called
> > his lawyer.
> > "I want to become a Democrat. Get me a change of registration form."
> > "You can do it", the lawyer said, "But why? You'll be dead soon, why
> > do you want to become a Democrat?"
> > "That's my business! Get me the form!" Four days later, the old man
> > got his registration changed. His lawyer was at his bedside making
> > sure his bill would be paid. Suddenly the old man was racked with fits
> > of coughing, and it was clear that this would be the end. Still
> > curious, the lawyer leaned over and said,
> > "Please, before it's too late, tell me why you wanted to become a
> > Democrat so badly before you died?" In a faint whisper, as he breathed
> > his last, the old man said:
> > "One less Democrat."
>
> > On Apr 7, 1:49 pm, Travis <baconl...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > >    The Looking Spoon Blog <http://www.thelookingspoon.com/blog.html>
> > > <http://fusion.google.com/add?source=atgs&feedurl=http://feeds.feedbur..
> > .>
> > > ------------------------------
>
> > > Practical Jokes for
> > > Liberals<
> >http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thelookingspoon/Gprc/~3/-QwpGW4KhPs/22...>
>
> > > Posted: 01 Apr 2011 01:44 PM PDT
>
> > > April Fools Day seems like a good day for this list...they're not all
> > > "practical" jokes, some of these are just ways to mess with them.
> > > ----------
>
> > > Every April 1st send a birthday card to the Democratic Party.
>
> > > Tell some really hunky member of PETA that he's a beefcake (you might
> > have
> > > better luck hunting unicorn).
>
> > > Accuse a liberal of plagiarizing Biden every time they burp.
>
> > > Go the the Sierra Club office/treehouse and hang a sign outside the
> > bathroom
> > > reminding the tree huggers of the Golden Rule, therefore toilet paper is
> > > hereby banned from use.
>
> > > Attend a speech given by Rahm Emanuel, make that beeping censor noise
> > every
> > > time he talks, except when he drops an F-bomb.
>
> > > Convince people to register Democrat by promising membership involves
> > lots
> > > of conveniently unspecific screwing.
>
> > > Send PETA a cease and desist order from People for the Ethical Treatment
> > of
> > > Real Ocean Life (PETROL) informing them the pens their offices use use
> > ink
> > > extracted from squid.
>
> > > Get the Koch brothers to sponsor a mailing of autographed pictures of
> > Scott
> > > Walker to all Democrats, yes, all of them.
>
> > > Petition the U.N. to make April 1st Global Warming Day.
>
> > > Get 10 friends together to watch MSNBC at the same time to create a
> > > mysterious ratings spike.
>
> > > Barge into a Planned Parenthood with a crying baby in your arms and
> > demand
> > > your money back.
>
> > > Go to any Democratic headquarters and announce that you are a registered
> > > Republican and your tired of the way President Obama has been treated and
> > > you're ready to show your support for him by re-registering to Kenyan.
>
> > > Potentially start a Pakistani Muslim-esque riot by placing a personal ad
> > on
> > > Craigslist in San Francisco titled "Looking For Love in all the Wrong
> > > Places" under the name G. Bush.
>
> > > Distribute "special" brownies at demonstrations to legalize pot...neglect
> > to
> > > mention they're special because they're made with Ex-lax.
>
> > > Go into an uber-hipster coffee shop and throw a fit when they wont give
> > you
> > > an off menu item, like coffee.
>
> > > Ask every long haired hippie man you see for their autograph and that you
> > > love them on The View.
>
> > > Photoshop years out of Nancy Pelosi's Wikipedia photo to make her look
> > 70.
>
> > > Brag to your liberal friends that you've decided to be friendlier to the
> > > environment by taking your bike everywhere you go, and then prove it by
> > > showing them how you keep it in the trunk of your car.
>
> > > Do the magic trick where you pull a coin out of a Democrat's ear, but
> > > instead of a coin use a mini plastic brain.
>
> > > Make them breathe a sigh of relief by telling them Helen Thomas is now
> > > registered Republican.
>
> > > Get liberals to sign a petition forcing a Jeopardy showdown between the
> > > super-computer WATSON and TOTUS.
>
> > > Barge into Planned Parenthood with a wire hanger and brag about how they
> > > taught you everything you know about choice.
>
> > > Program the auto correct feature on their word processor to change words
> > > like "revolution" and "fair share" and "progressive," or anything else
> > that
> > > sounds like liberal whining into "I <3 Reagan."
>
> > > Change the nationality of every Democrat bio on Wikipedia to "Hell."
>
> > > Make national news by starting a CNN fan club.
>
> > > Biden's Idea For Energy
> > > Independence<
> >http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thelookingspoon/Gprc/~3/yzakar4PM2A/22...>
>
> > > Posted: 01 Apr 2011 09:30 AM PDT
>
> > > Check out my collection of Biden "toons" (including this one) in the top
> > > navigation links at "Biden the April
> > > Fool<http://www.thelookingspoon.com/biden-the-april-fool.html>
> > > ."
>
> > >   You are subscribed to email updates from
> > > Blog<http://www.thelookingspoon.com/blog.html>
> > > To stop receiving these emails, you may unsubscribe
> > > now<
> >http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailunsubscribe?k=sPXVFa54PAdcEz_Hi...>
> > > . Email delivery powered by Google Google Inc., 20 West Kinzie, Chicago
> > IL
> > > USA 60610
>
> > --
> > Thanks for being part of "PoliticalForum" at Google Groups.
> > For options & help seehttp://groups.google.com/group/PoliticalForum
>
> > * Visit our other community athttp://www.PoliticalForum.com/<http://www.politicalforum.com/>
> > * It's active and moderated. Register and vote in our polls.
> > * Read the latest breaking news, and more.

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Re: Arab missile hits Israeli School Bus--Israel responds

given enough weapons they'll eventually kill each other off

where do we donate?

On Apr 7, 2:37 pm, Bruce Majors <majors.br...@gmail.com> wrote:
>  Missile Hits Israeli School Bus; Israel Responds With Strikes on Gaza
> Apr 7, 2011 – 11:50 AM
>  <http://www.aolnews.com/team/linda-gradstein/>
>
> *Linda Gradstein* <http://www.aolnews.com/team/linda-gradstein/> Contributor
> JERUSALEM -- An Israeli teenager was critically wounded when an anti-tank
> missile hit a school bus near the Gaza border, and Israel responded today
> with airstrikes on Gaza that killed at least one Palestinian.
>
> The cross-border violence was the latest increase in tension between Israel
> and the Islamist Hamas movement, which controls Gaza, and raised fears of a
> new cycle of violence.
>
> "The boy was lying on the ground bleeding," a member of the rescue services
> told the Haaretz newspaper. "The bus driver was conscious and hysterical.
> The entire bus was destroyed; it was a horrifying sight."
>
> [image: An Israeli school bus hit by a mortar shell fired from the Gaza
> Strip is seen on the road near the border between southern Israel and Gaza
> Wednesday, April 7, 2011. A Palestinian mortar shell from the Gaza Strip
> struck a school bus in southern Israel Thursday, wounding two people,
> including one child critically, Israeli officials said.]
> Edi Israel, AP
> An Israeli school bus hit by a mortar shell fired from the Gaza Strip is
> seen Wednesday on the road near the border between southern Israel and Gaza.
> Local officials said the yellow bus had been carrying 50 children home from
> school, although all but one had already been dropped off.
>
> "It's the first time that a missile has hit a bus," Larry Taranto, the
> manager of Kibbutz Nahal Oz, told AOL News. "We have to make sure that our
> kids are accounted for, and that's our first priority."
>
> Palestinian militants in Gaza also fired at least 20 mortar shells at
> southern Israel. One hit a house and damaged it, but nobody was home at the
> time.
>
> No Palestinian organization claimed responsibility, but Israeli Defense
> Minister Ehud Barak blamed Hamas, which controls Gaza. Barak said he ordered
> the army to respond quickly. The army obeyed the order, launching a series
> of strikes on Gaza.
>
> A 50-year-old Palestinian man was killed and at least eight people,
> including a 4-year-old child, were wounded in those strikes. Palestinians
> reported loud explosions in Gaza and helicopter fire for the first time in
> two years.
>
> In Israel, residents are angry at the Israeli government for not doing more
> to stop the rocket fire from Gaza. Two years ago, Israel launched a
> large-scale incursion into Gaza that killed about 1,400 Palestinians,
> including hundreds of civilians. Thirteen Israelis also died. Some Israelis
> are calling for another incursion.
>
> "This is barbaric and unacceptable," Alon Shuster, the head of the Shaar
> Hanegev local council, told Israel Radio. "Hamas is trying to create a new
> equation in which each time we launch an attack, they respond. But our
> attacks are on militants, and theirs target civilians."
>
> Shuster was referring to an Israeli airstrike over the weekend that killed
> three Palestinian militants. Israel said one of the men was a senior Hamas
> operative, and they were planning to kidnap Israelis over the upcoming
> Passover holiday. Hamas described the airstrike as a "serious escalation"
> and vowed that Israel would "bear all the consequences."
>
> Speaking in New York, Israeli President Shimon Peres sharply condemned the
> attack on the bus.
>
> "This is another clear example of Gaza's transformation into a terror
> state," Peres said.
>
> Bill

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Re: Practical Jokes for Liberals

Plaino:  I originally heard this as an Eichmann joke. 

On Thu, Apr 7, 2011 at 3:36 PM, plainolamerican <plainolamerican@gmail.com> wrote:

The old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called
his lawyer.
"I want to become a Democrat. Get me a change of registration form."
"You can do it", the lawyer said, "But why? You'll be dead soon, why
do you want to become a Democrat?"
"That's my business! Get me the form!" Four days later, the old man
got his registration changed. His lawyer was at his bedside making
sure his bill would be paid. Suddenly the old man was racked with fits
of coughing, and it was clear that this would be the end. Still
curious, the lawyer leaned over and said,
"Please, before it's too late, tell me why you wanted to become a
Democrat so badly before you died?" In a faint whisper, as he breathed
his last, the old man said:
"One less Democrat."


On Apr 7, 1:49 pm, Travis <baconl...@gmail.com> wrote:
>    The Looking Spoon Blog <http://www.thelookingspoon.com/blog.html>
> <http://fusion.google.com/add?source=atgs&feedurl=http://feeds.feedbur...>
> ------------------------------
>
> Practical Jokes for
> Liberals<http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thelookingspoon/Gprc/~3/-QwpGW4KhPs/22...>

>
> Posted: 01 Apr 2011 01:44 PM PDT
>
> April Fools Day seems like a good day for this list...they're not all
> "practical" jokes, some of these are just ways to mess with them.
> ----------
>
> Every April 1st send a birthday card to the Democratic Party.
>
> Tell some really hunky member of PETA that he's a beefcake (you might have
> better luck hunting unicorn).
>
> Accuse a liberal of plagiarizing Biden every time they burp.
>
> Go the the Sierra Club office/treehouse and hang a sign outside the bathroom
> reminding the tree huggers of the Golden Rule, therefore toilet paper is
> hereby banned from use.
>
> Attend a speech given by Rahm Emanuel, make that beeping censor noise every
> time he talks, except when he drops an F-bomb.
>
> Convince people to register Democrat by promising membership involves lots
> of conveniently unspecific screwing.
>
> Send PETA a cease and desist order from People for the Ethical Treatment of
> Real Ocean Life (PETROL) informing them the pens their offices use use ink
> extracted from squid.
>
> Get the Koch brothers to sponsor a mailing of autographed pictures of Scott
> Walker to all Democrats, yes, all of them.
>
> Petition the U.N. to make April 1st Global Warming Day.
>
> Get 10 friends together to watch MSNBC at the same time to create a
> mysterious ratings spike.
>
> Barge into a Planned Parenthood with a crying baby in your arms and demand
> your money back.
>
> Go to any Democratic headquarters and announce that you are a registered
> Republican and your tired of the way President Obama has been treated and
> you're ready to show your support for him by re-registering to Kenyan.
>
> Potentially start a Pakistani Muslim-esque riot by placing a personal ad on
> Craigslist in San Francisco titled "Looking For Love in all the Wrong
> Places" under the name G. Bush.
>
> Distribute "special" brownies at demonstrations to legalize pot...neglect to
> mention they're special because they're made with Ex-lax.
>
> Go into an uber-hipster coffee shop and throw a fit when they wont give you
> an off menu item, like coffee.
>
> Ask every long haired hippie man you see for their autograph and that you
> love them on The View.
>
> Photoshop years out of Nancy Pelosi's Wikipedia photo to make her look 70.
>
> Brag to your liberal friends that you've decided to be friendlier to the
> environment by taking your bike everywhere you go, and then prove it by
> showing them how you keep it in the trunk of your car.
>
> Do the magic trick where you pull a coin out of a Democrat's ear, but
> instead of a coin use a mini plastic brain.
>
> Make them breathe a sigh of relief by telling them Helen Thomas is now
> registered Republican.
>
> Get liberals to sign a petition forcing a Jeopardy showdown between the
> super-computer WATSON and TOTUS.
>
> Barge into Planned Parenthood with a wire hanger and brag about how they
> taught you everything you know about choice.
>
> Program the auto correct feature on their word processor to change words
> like "revolution" and "fair share" and "progressive," or anything else that
> sounds like liberal whining into "I <3 Reagan."
>
> Change the nationality of every Democrat bio on Wikipedia to "Hell."
>
> Make national news by starting a CNN fan club.
>
> Biden's Idea For Energy

> Independence<http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thelookingspoon/Gprc/~3/yzakar4PM2A/22...>

>
> Posted: 01 Apr 2011 09:30 AM PDT
>
> Check out my collection of Biden "toons" (including this one) in the top
> navigation links at "Biden the April

> Fool<http://www.thelookingspoon.com/biden-the-april-fool.html>

> ."
>
>   You are subscribed to email updates from

> Blog<http://www.thelookingspoon.com/blog.html>

> To stop receiving these emails, you may unsubscribe

> now<http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailunsubscribe?k=sPXVFa54PAdcEz_Hi...>
> . Email delivery powered by Google Google Inc., 20 West Kinzie, Chicago IL
> USA 60610

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Re: War: The Republicans Real Priority

Eric Cantor, the only Jewish Republican in the United States Congress,
cosponsored legislation to cut off all U.S. taxpayer aid to the
Palestinian Authority. Cantor claimed that United States sends about US
$75 million in aid annually to the Palestinian Authority.
---
"In all of the uproar for example around Juan Williams, what NPR did
I'm very proud of," Schiller said. "What NPR stood for is nonracist,
nonbigoted, straightforward telling of the news."

Schiller was talking to two men he believed were fundamentalist
Muslims — Amir Malik and Ibrahim Kasaam. The men pretended they were
members of a front group for the Muslim Brotherhood. They met Schiller
to discuss their possible $5 million donation to NPR. In truth, the
men were citizen journalists conducting an undercover sting on
Schiller at Washington's Cafe Milano. As a result of the sting,
Schiller and his boss, NPR CEO Vivian Schiller (no relation to Ron),
have resigned in disgrace.

While schmoozing the donors, Ron Schiller held nothing back. If they
wanted anti-Semitism, he was happy to comply. One of the actors asked
Schiller about Jewish donations that had dried up.

His bigotry doesn't stop there. Schiller also told the potential
donors that tea party activists have taken over the Republican Party,
which threatens PBS. He described tea party members as "very
fundamental Christian — I wouldn't even call it Christian. It's this
weird Evangelical kind of move."

Then Schiller invoked race. He described the tea party movement as
"white, middle America, gun-toting."

"They're seriously racist, racist people," Schiller said.

Schiller explained that tea party Republicans are uneducated, pushing
an "anti-intellectual" movement onto the public. Never mind the fact a
New York Times/CBS News poll that found that tea party activists "are
wealthier and more well-educated than the general public."

"The educated, so-called elite in this country is too small a
percentage of the population," Schiller said. "So that you have this
very large uneducated part of the population that carries these
ideas."

This grotesque, racist, anti-Semitic self-adulation and groveling for
dollars may finally end the facade of purity that has defined public
broadcasting.

On Apr 7, 7:42 am, MJ <micha...@america.net> wrote:
> War: The Republicans Real Priorityby Laurence M. Vance, April 6, 2011
> In their "Pledge to America," House Republicans promised "to stop out-of control spending and reduce the size of government." But other than promising to repeal Obamacare, no specific mention is made in the Pledge about eliminating any federal department, agency, or commission. Indeed, the Republicans' stated ambition was merely to "roll back government spending to pre-stimulus, pre-bailout levels."
> On the very night when the Republicans regained control of the House in the November 2 midterm election, Wolf Blitzer of CNN asked House Minority Whip Eric Cantor to name one specific program that the Republicans in the House were going to cut now that they have had a majority. Cantor couldn't name one. Blitzer then asked him the question a second time. Again, Cantor couldn't name one.
> On March 17, House Republicans -- to the shock and dismay of the world -- voted to defund National Public Radio (NPR). The vote forH.R. 1076, "To prohibit Federal funding of National Public Radio and the use of Federal funds to acquire radio content," was 228-192. This would not have been possible had Republicans not regained control of the House, since every Democrat voted in the negative.
> Every few years the cry is heard from conservative groups and Republicans in Congress that federal funding for NPR should be eliminated. These cries are usually in response to some news story reported or program aired on NPR or some embarrassing incident that relates to NPR that garners enough publicity. The focus is usually on NPR's "liberal bias," rather than on the deeper philosophical issues of the role of government and the nature of federal funding.
> This most recent call to eliminate funding for NPR stems from the flap over a hidden video expose of an NPR executive that led to the ouster of the president and CEO of NPR, Vivian Schiller.
> Conservatives were up in arms over NPR late last year because of the firing of journalist Juan Williams that led to the resignation of NPR vice president for news, Ellen Weiss.
> Although I applaud the House Republican vote to defund NPR just like I would rejoice over the defunding of any federal agency or program, the attack on "liberal NPR" is just political posturing. Every House Republican that voted to defund NPR knows that H.R. 1076 has absolutely zero chance of passing the Democratic-controlled Senate or being signed into law by the president.
> The Republican attempt to defund NPR is a little too late. Republicans controlled both houses of Congress for the last six years of the Clinton administration. Where were the weekly bills on Clinton's desk "To prohibit Federal funding of National Public Radio"? The Republicans had an absolute majority in the Congress for over four years of the Bush Republican presidency. Not only could they have defunded NPR, they could have slashed the funding for all public broadcasting organizations, like the Public Broadcasting Service (PBS), and abolished in its entirety the Corporation for Public Broadcasting (CPB).
> In the current era of over $3 trillion budgets, the amount of federal funding given to PBS, NPR, and the CPB, which funnels 95 percent of its federal funding to local television and radio stations to help purchase programming from PBS and NPR, is miniscule.
> The CPB typically receives an advance appropriation; decisions on the amount of its federal funding are made two years ahead of the fiscal year in which the funding is allocated. In H.R. 3288, the Consolidated Appropriations Act, 2010, which becamePublic Law 111-117on December 16, 2009, in Division D, "Departments of Labor, Health And Human Services, and Education, and Related Agencies Appropriations Act, 2010," under Title IV, "Related Agencies," the CPB is appropriated $445 million for fiscal year 2012. This was up from the $430 million it was appropriated for 2011, but still quite a small number in the grand scheme of things, as well shall presently see.
> On the same day -- March 17 -- that House Republicans voted to defund NPR, they also voted onH.J. Con. Res. 28, "Directing the President, pursuant to section 5(c) of the War Powers Resolution, to remove the United States Armed Forces from Afghanistan." The resolution is a simple one, and reads in its entirety:Pursuant to section 5(c) of the War Powers Resolution (50 U.S.C. 1544(c)), Congress directs the President to remove the United States Armed Forces from Afghanistan -- (1) by no later than the end of the period of 30 days beginning on the day on which this concurrent resolution is adopted; or (2) if the President determines that it is not safe to remove the United States Armed Forces before the end of that period, by no later than December 31, 2011, or such earlier date as the President determines that the Armed Forces can safely be removed.The resolution failed by a vote of 93-321. The Republican vote was 8-222, with one Republican, Justin Amash, voting "present." The speeches on the House floor, as broadcast by C-SPAN, by Republicans against this resolution, that is, in favor of continuing the war in Afghanistan, were sickening. These Republican warmongers mentioned the attacks of 9/11, trying to tie them to Afghanistan, when all of the alleged perpetrators were from other countries and received their flight training in the United States. They mentioned the necessity of fighting al-Qaeda, when CIA DirectorLeon Panettahas estimated "there are only 50 to 100 Al Qaeda militants operating inside Afghanistan" and GeneralDavid Petraeusacknowledged that "Al Qaeda has under 100 operatives or fighters inside Afghanistan." It was leftists Barney Frank and the resolution sponsor Dennis Kucinich that had the logical, principled arguments.
> If Republicans in Congress want to be "fiscal conservatives" and "stop out-of control spending," I can't think of a better place to start than the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. It costs $1 million per soldier per year for each U.S. soldier in Afghanistan. There are about 100,000 U.S. troops in Afghanistan. Do the math. TheDepartment of Defenseuses 300,000 barrels of oil each day, 70 percent of which goes to overseas operations at a cost of almost $10 billion a year. The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have already cost over $1 trillion. Long-term health care costs for wounded war veterans have beenestimated. to reach as high as $700 billion. By anyone's estimate, the U.S. government is spending over $10 billion a month on the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. That is $2.5 billion a week. That is $357 million a day. As of last year, war spending in Afghanistan now surpasses that in Iraq.
> The U.S. government spends more on these wars in two days than the CPB receives in funding for an entire year. The real priority of Republicans in Congress is not budget cutting, it is war.
> More important than the monetary cost of these wars, however, are the senseless deaths of over 5,000 American soldiers and the devastation the wars have caused American families. There are also the hundreds of thousands of Iraqis and Afghans that have been killed by U.S. bombs and bullets that don't seem to matter to members of Congress (Republican and Democrat) that keep funding these immoral wars.
> Speaking on the House floor the morning of March 17, CongressmanRon Paulmentioned these two bills and predicted how the Republicans would vote on them later in the day. Said Dr. Paul about the war in Afghanistan:It is a fruitless venture. Too much has been lost. The chance of winning since we don't even what we are going to win doesn't exist.... How many more men and women have to die, how many more dollars have to be spent to save face?... All empires end for fiscal reasons because they spread themselves too far.... How did the Soviets come down? By doing the very same thing that we're doing.... If you are a fiscal conservative you ought to look at the waste. This is military Keynesianism.Representative Paul predicted exactly what came to pass:Fiscal conservatives were going to be overwhelming in support of slashing NPR and go home and brag about how they are so great fiscal conservatives and the very most they might save is $10 million. And that's their claim to fame for slashing the budget. At the same time they won't consider for a minute cutting a real significant amount of money.Republicans are predictable. They predictably support war, interventionism, and the warfare state while claiming to be fiscal conservatives in favor of less spending and smaller government.http://www.fff.org/comment/com1104c.asp

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Banned in Boston: Soda Pop

[[  I thought only Rusty Warren was "Banned In Boston".  ]]

http://www.moonbattery.com/archives/2011/04/banned-in-bosto-1.html

 

 

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Re: Practical Jokes for Liberals

The old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called
his lawyer.
"I want to become a Democrat. Get me a change of registration form."
"You can do it", the lawyer said, "But why? You'll be dead soon, why
do you want to become a Democrat?"
"That's my business! Get me the form!" Four days later, the old man
got his registration changed. His lawyer was at his bedside making
sure his bill would be paid. Suddenly the old man was racked with fits
of coughing, and it was clear that this would be the end. Still
curious, the lawyer leaned over and said,
"Please, before it's too late, tell me why you wanted to become a
Democrat so badly before you died?" In a faint whisper, as he breathed
his last, the old man said:
"One less Democrat."

On Apr 7, 1:49 pm, Travis <baconl...@gmail.com> wrote:
>    The Looking Spoon Blog <http://www.thelookingspoon.com/blog.html>
> <http://fusion.google.com/add?source=atgs&feedurl=http://feeds.feedbur...>
> ------------------------------
>
> Practical Jokes for
> Liberals<http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thelookingspoon/Gprc/~3/-QwpGW4KhPs/22...>
>
> Posted: 01 Apr 2011 01:44 PM PDT
>
> April Fools Day seems like a good day for this list...they're not all
> "practical" jokes, some of these are just ways to mess with them.
> ----------
>
> Every April 1st send a birthday card to the Democratic Party.
>
> Tell some really hunky member of PETA that he's a beefcake (you might have
> better luck hunting unicorn).
>
> Accuse a liberal of plagiarizing Biden every time they burp.
>
> Go the the Sierra Club office/treehouse and hang a sign outside the bathroom
> reminding the tree huggers of the Golden Rule, therefore toilet paper is
> hereby banned from use.
>
> Attend a speech given by Rahm Emanuel, make that beeping censor noise every
> time he talks, except when he drops an F-bomb.
>
> Convince people to register Democrat by promising membership involves lots
> of conveniently unspecific screwing.
>
> Send PETA a cease and desist order from People for the Ethical Treatment of
> Real Ocean Life (PETROL) informing them the pens their offices use use ink
> extracted from squid.
>
> Get the Koch brothers to sponsor a mailing of autographed pictures of Scott
> Walker to all Democrats, yes, all of them.
>
> Petition the U.N. to make April 1st Global Warming Day.
>
> Get 10 friends together to watch MSNBC at the same time to create a
> mysterious ratings spike.
>
> Barge into a Planned Parenthood with a crying baby in your arms and demand
> your money back.
>
> Go to any Democratic headquarters and announce that you are a registered
> Republican and your tired of the way President Obama has been treated and
> you're ready to show your support for him by re-registering to Kenyan.
>
> Potentially start a Pakistani Muslim-esque riot by placing a personal ad on
> Craigslist in San Francisco titled "Looking For Love in all the Wrong
> Places" under the name G. Bush.
>
> Distribute "special" brownies at demonstrations to legalize pot...neglect to
> mention they're special because they're made with Ex-lax.
>
> Go into an uber-hipster coffee shop and throw a fit when they wont give you
> an off menu item, like coffee.
>
> Ask every long haired hippie man you see for their autograph and that you
> love them on The View.
>
> Photoshop years out of Nancy Pelosi's Wikipedia photo to make her look 70.
>
> Brag to your liberal friends that you've decided to be friendlier to the
> environment by taking your bike everywhere you go, and then prove it by
> showing them how you keep it in the trunk of your car.
>
> Do the magic trick where you pull a coin out of a Democrat's ear, but
> instead of a coin use a mini plastic brain.
>
> Make them breathe a sigh of relief by telling them Helen Thomas is now
> registered Republican.
>
> Get liberals to sign a petition forcing a Jeopardy showdown between the
> super-computer WATSON and TOTUS.
>
> Barge into Planned Parenthood with a wire hanger and brag about how they
> taught you everything you know about choice.
>
> Program the auto correct feature on their word processor to change words
> like "revolution" and "fair share" and "progressive," or anything else that
> sounds like liberal whining into "I <3 Reagan."
>
> Change the nationality of every Democrat bio on Wikipedia to "Hell."
>
> Make national news by starting a CNN fan club.
>
> Biden's Idea For Energy
> Independence<http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thelookingspoon/Gprc/~3/yzakar4PM2A/22...>
>
> Posted: 01 Apr 2011 09:30 AM PDT
>
> Check out my collection of Biden "toons" (including this one) in the top
> navigation links at "Biden the April
> Fool<http://www.thelookingspoon.com/biden-the-april-fool.html>
> ."
>
>   You are subscribed to email updates from
> Blog<http://www.thelookingspoon.com/blog.html>
> To stop receiving these emails, you may unsubscribe
> now<http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailunsubscribe?k=sPXVFa54PAdcEz_Hi...>
> . Email delivery powered by Google Google Inc., 20 West Kinzie, Chicago IL
> USA 60610

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