Re: Obama - still lying all the time - this one about his mother's death

Mustang, I corrected the URL and resubmitted the email. Did you at
least check it out and see what I posted? The little f*cker lied his
@ss off about his mother and her insurance and then used that as a sales
pitch in his run for the presidency. What a POS scumbag.

Mustang wrote:
> Page does not exist. Gee, I wonder why.
>
> *From:* dick thompson <rhomp2002@earthlink.net>
> *To:* James Anastos <big2wheelrxx@gmail.com>; MERLE MCKINZIE
> <merlemckinzie@msn.com>; claguerra245@aol.com; calrose123@aol.com;
> Michael Kerwin <east90thst@yahoo.com>; rn326@aol.com; TheAnchoress
> <theanchoress@gmail.com>; gocinatlanta <gocinatlanta@bellsouth.net>;
> Jim Miller <jimxc1@gmail.com>; jim@parkwayreststop.com; John and Beth
> <johnbethd@yahoo.com>; Blackfive <blackfive@gmail.com>;
> Greyhawk@mudvillegazette.com; beckymason@cableone.net; Boudicca Voice
> <boudicah@hotmail.com>; BizzyBlog (Tom Blumer) <biz@bizzyblog.com>;
> politicalforum@googlegroups.com
> *Sent:* Thursday, July 14, 2011 3:21 PM
> *Subject:* Obama - still lying all the time - this one about his
> mother's death
>
> http://althouse.blogspot.com/2011/07/obama-lied-about-central-fact-about-his.htm
>
> -- Thanks for being part of "PoliticalForum" at Google Groups.
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>
>
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Obama - still lying all the time - this one about his mother's death (try again)

http://althouse.blogspot.com/2011/07/obama-lied-about-central-fact-about-his.html

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Re: Obama - still lying all the time - this one about his mother's death

Page does not exist.  Gee, I wonder why.

From: dick thompson <rhomp2002@earthlink.net>
To: James Anastos <big2wheelrxx@gmail.com>; MERLE MCKINZIE <merlemckinzie@msn.com>; claguerra245@aol.com; calrose123@aol.com; Michael Kerwin <east90thst@yahoo.com>; rn326@aol.com; TheAnchoress <theanchoress@gmail.com>; gocinatlanta <gocinatlanta@bellsouth.net>; Jim Miller <jimxc1@gmail.com>; jim@parkwayreststop.com; John and Beth <johnbethd@yahoo.com>; Blackfive <blackfive@gmail.com>; Greyhawk@mudvillegazette.com; beckymason@cableone.net; Boudicca Voice <boudicah@hotmail.com>; BizzyBlog (Tom Blumer) <biz@bizzyblog.com>; politicalforum@googlegroups.com
Sent: Thursday, July 14, 2011 3:21 PM
Subject: Obama - still lying all the time - this one about his mother's death

http://althouse.blogspot.com/2011/07/obama-lied-about-central-fact-about-his.htm
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Lip Smackin Bacon Luau 2011

Bacon Potluck, Live Music, Raffle Prizes, Free Beer!

Sent from BaconShirts.com/bacon-luau/

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The Bain of Mitt's campaign

Mitt Romney: Silver-spoon corporate welfare queen. Being a "turnaround" specialist isn't all that difficult when you can put taxpayers on the hook (see also my piece from '02 about the Olympic "miracle" -- http://findarticles.com/p/arti cles/mi_m0JZS/is_2_18/ai_n2504 0768/): http://www.politico.com/news/s tories/0711/58952.html -- William N. Grigg


The Bain of Mitt's campaign
By: Alexander Burns
July 14, 2011 04:37 AM EDT

A company that laid off hundreds of employees. A federal "bailout" to rescue a failing bank. Mitt Romney, at the center of it all.

It's a story line from a tough Democratic ad that was teed up for use against Romney in his 1994 Senate campaign in Massachusetts. The spot, which was provided exclusively to POLITICO, never actually aired. But it's all but certain that some version of its allegations will surface in the GOP primary or the general election, if Romney makes it that far.

That ad would have been damaging had it appeared when it was produced nearly two decades ago. But it could take on new relevance in a 2012 campaign in which Romney is touting his business career as proof he can lead a national economic turnaround.

In every one of Romney's campaigns, his time in the private sector ­ specifically, at the consulting firm Bain & Co. and the investment company Bain Capital ­ has been a double-edged credential, branding him as a savvy businessman while tying him to countless controversial management decisions.

Romney has served as chief executive at both Bain Capital, which he helped found in the 1980s, and Bain & Co., which launched his career and which he later helped rescue from failure.

When Romney challenged Sen. Ted Kennedy in 1994, it was his connection to those two companies that played a significant role in sinking his campaign as Democrats tied him to plant closings and worker firings.

In 2012, those familiar attacks from his past are likely to take on a new potency: Bain Capital's involvement in mass layoffs is likely to haunt Romney in a campaign focused on jobs. Other episodes, such as the claims that Romney benefited from a federal bank rescue, could ignite anew.

The never-aired "bailout" ad, shared with POLITICO by one of Kennedy's advisers, remains an unexploded grenade from that race, underscoring Romney's vulnerability in the first presidential election fought since the 2008 financial meltdown.

According to former Kennedy advisers, the ad never ran because it turned out to be unnecessary: Kennedy had already broken Romney with a series of ads tying him to layoffs in Indiana.

The commercial ­ produced for the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee by the firm Doak, Shrum, Harris, Carrier, Devine ­ highlights Romney's role in turning around Bain & Co. during its financial distress.

"The way the company was rescued was with a federal bailout of $10 million," the ad says. "The rest of us had to absorb the loss … Romney? He and others made $4 million in this deal. … Mitt Romney: Maybe he's just against government when it helps working men and women."

The facts of the Bain & Co. turnaround are a little more complicated, but a Boston Globe report from 1994 confirms that Bain saw several million dollars in loans forgiven by the FDIC, which had taken over Bain's failed creditor, the Bank of New England.

Romney aides pushed back strongly on the Democratic charge that Bain & Co. received anything like a TARP-style "bailout." While the FDIC is a government agency, it is funded by deposit insurance payments rather than taxes. The agency agreed to reduce Bain & Co.'s liability to the Bank of New England, but didn't pump new funds into the flagging firm. Other Bain creditors also took a haircut in order to avert the company's collapse.

In a broadly worded statement, Romney spokeswoman Andrea Saul defended the candidate's record in the private sector and said that at Bain & Co., Romney "helped lead a successful turnaround. At Bain Capital, he helped launch and guide a private equity and financial services firm."

"Bain Capital invested in many businesses; while not every business was successful, the firm had an excellent overall track record," Saul said. "These experiences give Mr. Romney the unique skills and capabilities to do what President Obama has failed to do: focus on job creation and turn around our nation's faltering economy."

But Tad Devine, the former Kennedy adviser who helped produce the 1994 ad blitz, said spots like the ones Kennedy aired could take their toll again in 2012.

"This was a guy who stepped onto the stage, looked good, sounded good, but his big claim was, 'I'm a job creator,'" Devine said of Romney's first run. "We blew it up."

Romney's 2012 foes are starting to deploy the same attack lines Kennedy used 17 years ago. When Romney criticized President Barack Obama over last week's bleak unemployment report, Obama adviser David Axelrod shot back on Twitter: "In business, Romney made a fortune firing American workers. As governor, 47th in job creation."

Earlier this spring, Republican Donald Trump became the first presidential aspirant to attack Romney's record in the open, dismissing him as "a funds guy" who would "buy companies, he'd close companies, he'd get rid of the jobs."

Axelrod and Trump may have overstated the case: Romney made his millions through numerous successful deals, including one that gave rise to Staples, the office supply retail giant. He consistently has downplayed his direct involvement in Bain Capital properties that went under.

What's more, Romney has been more careful than he was in 1994 about making sweeping claims about his job creation record. That year, Romney claimed credit for creating 10,000 jobs. Now, he's far more cautious, speaking about his business record in general terms and acknowledging that it has its blemishes.

"My work led me to become deeply involved in helping other businesses," Romney said in his June 2 announcement speech. "Sometimes I was successful and helped create jobs, other times, I was not."

But even a handful of persuasive data points from his career at Bain and Bain Capital could be enough to tarnish Romney's credibility on the economy. And the data is there: In 1992, Bain Capital purchased American Pad and Paper, which subsequently laid off 250 workers at an Indiana plant and rehired some after slashing their wages and retirement benefits.

The Ampad affair became the core of Kennedy's 1994 ads against Romney. Kennedy's team went out to Indiana and came back with footage of angry workers expressing frustration with Romney, with one saying on camera: "If he's created jobs, I wish he could create some here, you know, instead of taking them away."

"They were so powerful in their own words. The Romney campaign accused us of having scripted them, and we could truthfully say we hadn't," said Bob Shrum, Devine's former business partner and another Kennedy adviser. "Romney running as the candidate who created jobs was over."

Strategists in both parties say that a 1994-level assault is coming Romney's way if he makes it to the general election, no matter what precautions he takes.

"There's no question that should Mitt Romney become the nominee of the party, there's going to be a line of attack opened up on him that's not dissimilar to that Ted Kennedy used in their Senate battle," said Steve Schmidt, who managed John McCain's 2008 general election campaign. Still, he predicted that the public would view Romney as a "credible and effective spokesman for economic growth."

Said Schmidt: "The effectiveness of the attacks is likely to be diminished because of the severity of the crisis we're in."

Greg Mueller, the conservative public relations man and former Pat Buchanan adviser, argued that the offensive against Romney was well under way: "They're trying to hit him on Bain, companies that Bain had under their umbrella, where people lost their jobs."

"Those things are already coming out. They're already starting to pick away at his credentials, as an entrepreneur," he continued. "If you don't get out there and get on offense a little bit, you will be defined by the other side and things will slip away."

Ampad is just one area of vulnerability. In 1993, Bain Capital bought the company GST Steel, which later filed for bankruptcy protection and closed a steel plant in Kansas City, and a string of smaller companies also ran into trouble after being acquired by Bain Capital.

There's also a larger ­ and less well scrutinized ­ web of corporate relationships associated with Bain and Bain Capital. Romney would be open to attacks on Bain Capital's deals with foreign companies and his own involvement in corporate boards.

In one instance, Romney sat on the board of a medical supply company, Damon Corp., which later paid $119 million in penalties for billing unnecessary blood tests to Medicare during the period of Romney's involvement.

Romney's opponents in both parties have already begun preparing files on his Bain years, raising the prospect that a drip-drip of opposition research could sap Romney over the course of a long campaign.
"The Romney people are going to have to say he helped the economy and Bain Capital invested in startups and created jobs. He's going to want to talk about Staples," said former Mike Huckabee campaign manager Chip Saltsman. "His opponents are going to want to talk about the ones where he came in and bought everything and sold everything."

For now, Devine suggested that Romney was doing a decent job preparing himself to make the argument that "there were winners and losers in the economic sphere that he was in, but for the most part there were gains, and the gains outweigh the losses."

"I think Romney and the people around him have learned the lesson of '94, which is you don't want to lead with your chin," Devine said. "If you overstate your record on job creation, and you try to get everybody to believe that everything in business was great, you pay a price for that."


http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0711/58952.html

Read this amd make sure your kids understand it also - very important

All about water safety when swimming. As many of the commenters say
they had CPR training and lifeguard training and were never taught about
this potential life-threatening situation.,,,

,http://althouse.blogspot.com/2011/07/two-strapping-young-men-who-were.html

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Here's Taco-Mergency, the Fake Taco Ambulance Food Truck

[[  Delivering Taco Bell Ex-Lax everywhere.  ]]

http://eater.com/archives/2011/07/14/heres-tacomergency-the-fake-taco-ambulance-food-truck.php

 

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New Jersey schools to teach "tolerance" about 9/11 (WARNING: "Grisly" Images)

New Jersey schools to teach "tolerance" about 9/11 (WARNING: "Grisly" Images) barenakedislam | July 14, 2011 at 6:06 PM | Categories: 9/11 Censored | URL: http://wp.me/peHnV-wRu

Did Muslim sympathizer NJ Gov. Christie think this up? Students in New Jersey, a state that lost about 700 residents in the Sept. 11 attacks, can soon get classroom lessons on the attacks, but nothing about the religion that inspires this kind of terrorism around the world. North Jersey - Implementing the new 9/11 curriculum, which features [...]

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Obama - still lying all the time - this one about his mother's death

http://althouse.blogspot.com/2011/07/obama-lied-about-central-fact-about-his.htm

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Fwd: [DailyKos] *? 2 ALL: FBI TARGETS MURDOCH - WHAT ARE YOUR COMMENTS?*

 

A law enforcement official said Thursday the FBI has opened an investigation into allegations that

media mogul Rupert Murdoch's News Corp. sought to hack into the phones of Sept. 11 victims, .

 

Hi Team!

 

*? 2 ALL:

 

FBI TARGETS MURDOCH -

 

(above): A demonstrator, wearing a mask depicting Rupert Murdoch,holding puppets depicting British Prime Minister David Cameron and British Culture minister Jeremy Hun. (AP/Lefteris Pitarakis) - gothamist.com

Tom Hays reports:

 

"The decision to investigate was made after U.S. Rep. Peter King and several other members of Congress wrote FBI Director Robert Mueller demanding an investigation, said the official, who spoke to The Associated Press on condition of anonymity because he wasn't authorized to speak publicly.

"The official stressed that the probe was in its infancy but declined to discuss the scope of it or say whether any investigative steps had been taken.

"News Corp., based in New York, has been in crisis mode because of a scandal that sank its U.K. newspaper the News of the World.

"A rival newspaper reported last week that the News of the World had hacked into the phone of U.K. teenage murder victim Milly Dowler in 2002 and may have impeded a police investigation into her disappearance.

"More possible victims soon emerged: other child murder victims, 2005 London bombing victims, the families of dead soldiers and former Prime Minister Gordon Brown.

"U.S. Department of Justice spokeswoman Laura Sweeney said Thursday that the department 'does not comment specifically on investigations, though anytime we see evidence of wrongdoing, we take appropriate action.'"

 

FBI targets Murdoch - what are your comments?

Greg Dempsey
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SECULARHUMANIST/
Voice of the People

 

=====

Rupert Murdoch Under FBI Investigation: News Corp. Reportedly Targeted Over 9/11 Victims Hacking Scandal

By TOM HAYS   07/14/11 04:00 PM ET   Associated Press

NEW YORK -- The FBI and U.S. attorney's office in New York declined comment. There was no immediate response to a phone message left for News Corp.

King, a Republican, said Thursday afternoon he had not officially been contacted by the FBI and said he wanted to reserve comment until he hears from the agency.

"If they do, I'd be gratified," he said in a brief telephone interview with the AP.

On Thursday, Murdoch caved in to pressure from Britain's Parliament as he and his son James first refused, then agreed, to appear next week before lawmakers investigating phone hacking and bribery by employees of their newspaper empire.

Murdoch began his media career in Australia in 1952 after inheriting The News newspaper after the death of his father, and he has built News Corp. into one of the world's biggest media groups. Assets include Fox News, the 20th Century Fox movie studio, The Wall Street Journal, the New York Post and three newspapers in Britain – down from four with the death of the News of the World.

Also Thursday, Scotland Yard said it had made its seventh arrest related to the inquiry into phone hacking at the now-defunct tabloid, whose closure was a doomed effort to keep alive a bid for the highly profitable network British Sky Broadcasting. Police didn't disclose the name of the arrested man.

___

Associated Press writer Frank Eltman contributed to this report.

__._,_.___

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Interesting posting by Jim Miller on Politics - Subject is Black Unemployment by State

Worst States And Best States For Black Unemployment: The Department of
Labor has released a report on black unemployment, and the news is
grim. Walter Mead has a good discussion of the findings in the report,
but does not say much about the differences between the states.,

,Those differences are worth discussing because the variation among
states is so high.,,

The five worst states for black unemployment are Wisconsin (25.0
percent), Michigan (23.9 percent), Minnesota (22.0 percent, Maine (21.4
percent), and Washington (21.1 percent). All five are significantly
above the national rate for blacks, 16.2 percent. (In May, the
comparable rates for whites and Hispanics were 8.0 and 11.9,
respectively.),,

The five best states for black unemployment are New Hampshire (10.3
percent), Hawaii (9.6 percent), Idaho (8.0 percent), Wyoming (6.2
percent) and Alaska (5.4 percent). (The map at the end of the report
has Arizona at 10.2 percent, which contradicts the text. I am fairly
sure that's a mistake in the map.),,

(There are no estimates for four states with very small black
populations, Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, and Vermont.),

,I am not going to draw any grand conclusions from these differences,
since I don't know enough about the policies of those ten states. But I
will observe that most leftists would consider the five worst states
"progressive" (I would say reactionary), and that most leftists would
have other adjectives for the five best states, except, of course, for
Hawaii.,

,And I will add one small point about Washington state: My home state
has the highest minimum wage in the United States, thanks to a
labor-union-backed initiative. That may be one of the reasons that
black unemployment is higher here than in most other states., Cross
posted at Sound Politics. ,- 9:49 AM, 13

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Grouchy old Cripple has it about right

http://www.grouchyoldcripple.com/archives/008703.html
http://www.grouchyoldcripple.com/archives/008702.html

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Obama to be on Mt Rushmore!

Obama to be on Mt Rushmore! Eowyn | July 14, 2011 at 6:07 am | Categories: 2012 Election, Humor, United States, US Presidents | URL: http://wp.me/pKuKY-87n

I-90 will be closed tomorrow across South Dakota. They are hauling a 200-ton lump of coal so they can add Obama to Mount Rushmore. They couldn't find a 200-ton piece of sh*t that would stick.

H/t my friend Mark!

~Eowyn

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Ground Zero: Mosque yes, memorial that actually memorializes 9/11 - hell no

Ground Zero: Mosque yes, memorial that actually memorializes 9/11 - hell no creeping | July 14, 2011 at 11:30 AM | Tags: 9/11, Creeping Sharia, dhimmi, islam, Jihad, Life, Media, Muslim, New York, News, NYC, Politics, Random, Religion, Sharia, terrorism, travel | Categories: Alerts, Creeping Sharia, Media, New York, News, Politics, Religion, Sharia, Stealth Jihad | URL: http://wp.me/pbU4v-95f

It will be up to real Americans to educate younger and future generations of the reality of 9/11. The same people that are eager to force a mosque at Ground Zero on Americans who don't want it, are more eager to erase the history of Islamic jihad at Ground Zero. It will always be a [...]

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Obama's Campaign Manager admits to receiving campaign dollars from outside the U.S.

Obama's Campaign Manager admits to receiving campaign dollars from outside the U.S. Scotty Starnes | July 14, 2011 at 1:09 PM | Tags: foreign contributions, illegal campaign contributions, Jim Messina, President Obama | Categories: Political Issues | URL: http://wp.me/pvnFC-5Ah

I do believe this is illegal...

watch?feature=player_embedded&v=hlypjw9i7Vg

Obama's campaign manager, Jim Messina states at the 3:29 mark "GLOBALLY we've raised more than $86 million dollars."

Did Messina just admit that the Obama regime is accepting foreign contributions? Globally means the entire world, not just inside the U.S.

Anyone remember those pre-paid Visa cards the Obama regime accepted back in 2008? You know, those Visa cards that are nearly untraceable? We all know how Democrats love their illegal campaign contributions/contributors.

 

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You Are Too Dumb To Fully Comprehend Our Dark Overlord's Gloriousness

You Are Too Dumb To Fully Comprehend Our Dark Overlord's Gloriousness doctorbulldog | 14 July, 2011 at 12:01 pm | Categories: Obama Sucks, politics | URL: http://wp.me/p1NPg-7fw

As I have said before, Obama's problem isn't that Americans are dumb, it is that they smarter than he would like them to be.  Sure,  Americans may be a little too willing to forgive, may be easily manipulated for a short period of time, and may be a little too slow in waking up to all the communist threats directed their way, but they definitely are NOT stupid:

America Is Too Dumb to Know Obama Is Always Right

By Michael Goodwin - Fox News

When President Obama started talking at his news conference Monday, I listened intently for 15 minutes or so. Then I got fidgety as his half-truths about the debt grew into full-blown whoppers. As he droned on, I did something I never did before during an Obama appearance: I turned off the TV.

Enough. He is the Man Who Won't Listen to Anybody, so why should anybody listen to him?

Tuning out and turning off the president does not fill me with gladness. He cannot be ignored.

But for now, I will leave that unhappy duty to others. I am tired of Barack Obama. There's nothing new there. His speeches are like "Groundhog Day."
His presidency is a spectacular failure, his historic mandate squandered by adherence to leftist ideology and relentless partisanship. His policies are crushing the prospects for growth and dooming the hopes of 24 million Americans who are unemployed or working part-time.

Yet he is not going to change. He listens only to his own voice, which is why he has lost virtually his entire economic team.

The biggest media myth is that he is a centrist. Oh, please. It's a theory without evidence, for there is not a single example on domestic issues where he voluntarily staked out a spot in the American middle.

Sure, on occasion, Obama will be to the right of the far, far left, but that is not the center. That just means he's not Michael Moore.

Nor is he a centrist because he'll make a deal under duress with Republicans, as he did last December. All politicians have a pragmatic streak, otherwise they couldn't get anything done in a divided government.

But Obama's default statist position remains unmolested by facts or last year's landslide that was a rebuke to his first two years. He continues to push bigger and bigger government, higher and higher taxes and more and more welfare programs.

He will compromise if he must, but he still wants what he wants and will come back for it again and again.
That's the subtext of the debt-ceiling talks and his press conference. He voted against raising the ceiling as a senator, calling the need for an increase a "failure."

Now he is not embarrassed to demand a hike of about $2.5 trillion, and more hair of the spending-and-taxing dog. He reveals his belief that your money is really the government's and it will decide how much you can keep. The only cut he is comfortable with is in the defense budget.

He says it's time to "pull off the Band-Aid" and "eat our peas." Translation: It's time for Republicans to give him everything he wants. That's his definition of being an adult and acting in the national interest.

His only concession to public will is to pretend he's got religion about the fiscal problems and wants a "big deal." What he really wants is to get through the election.

In answering a question about a poll showing that two-thirds of voters don't want the debt ceiling raised, he blew off 70 million Americans by saying they aren't paying attention.

There's a novel campaign theme: Elect me because you're too dumb to understand how smart I am.

Harry Truman ran against a "Do-Nothing" Congress. Obama is running against a "Know-Nothing" nation.

He can never be wrong. You always are, unless you agree with him.

That's the story of his presidency. That's who he is.

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New Feminist Group Pushes For Uglier Women

New Feminist Group Pushes For Uglier Women

An IITO member hangs out at a local NOW rally to obtain signatures for their cause.

BEAVERTON, Ore. (CAP) - In what is being hailed as a brilliant strategic maneuver, the National Organization for Women announced today that it has joined forces with two of the world's most influential feminist groups.

After investing several years of research into what they should bitch about next, the iconic feminist organization has aligned its efforts with the Freudian Center For The Uptight, Bitter And Frigid as well as the Association For The Advancement Of Battery Operated Stuff.

Thanks in part to a financial contribution from the woman's apparel giant, Lane Bryant, the individual groups have finally come together to form the International Institute For Testicular Oppression (IITO).

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According to the organization's spokesperson, Gabby Nobles, the IITO's first order of business will be an unprecedented attack on the advertising industry. Speaking before an energized crowd of unshaven, flannel-clad women and a handful of reporters, Nobles defined the group's mission.

"In a highly aggressive campaign, the IITO will expose companies whose advertisements portray women as sexual objects," said Nobles. "Including nonsexual objects, heterosexual objects, and objects with headaches."

When asked to clarify, Nobles rolled her eyes and huffed. "Basically, in a series of overreaching, paranoid accusations, the IITO intends to demonize companies that depict women as attractive females," she said.

"Particularly straight attractive females," she continued.

"With BMI's of less than forty," she continued to continue. "Who are portrayed in stereotypical roles such as housewives, soccer moms, teachers, secretaries, cheerleaders, Hooters girls, and/or dental hygienists."

Nobles' response drew immediate criticism. Audience member, Karen Johnson-Strapp, a crane operator from Asheville, NC, was among the first to speak up. "[Nobles] missed at least two-dozen female stereotypes," said Johnson-Strapp. "Including bad drivers, wet nurses, good fairies, muses, mermaids, fluffers, nuns, strippers, hookers, wenches, and crack-whores."

The organization has since apologized for Nobles' omissions, promising to make a complete list of stereotypes available on their website later today.

As news of the feminist crusade rippled across the nation, manufacturers and retailers are responding in kind - announcing immediate overhauls in their advertising campaigns and abandoning the use of even remotely attractive female models.

"Advertisers are taking the IITO's threats very seriously," said marketing executive, Karl Glover as he passed out pink-slips to each of the agency's hard-bodied promotional models. "The time has come to lower society's expectations and reduce erectile frequency. Therefore, effective today, this agency will only do promotions for bunion pads, tweezers and Mini Coopers."

Jenni-Lynn Loveless, spokesmodel for renowned Brazilan wax-maker Enrique Avila, was among the first to be let go. "These lowered expectations are almost impossible to achieve," she said with tears in her eyes. "According to the new guidelines, models can't be prettier than Sandra Bernhard, thinner than Queen Latifah, or straighter than Elena Kagan.

"I mean, that's like being beaten with an ugly stick, a turkey leg, and a softball bat - all at the same time," Loveless added.

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July 17, 2009

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