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Thanksgiving: A Guide to Surviving Your Family

Posted: 22 Nov 2011 10:36 AM PST

teen alcoholism drug addiction Thanksgiving: A Guide to Surviving Your Family
In two days, Americans will come together and break bread as a family because we're expected to, even though we don't really like these people most of the time and some of them may owe us money. This is why this Thanksgiving, I'm staying home, watching MST3K, and getting wasted, not necessarily in that order.

But for the rest of you schmucks, here's a brief guide to coping strategies the third time your aunt tells you that her ex-husband and the father of her children drunkenly slurs out a complaint that if he liked the man meat, he should have told her back in the '70s.

Drink Early, Drink Often

photolibrary rm photo of man drinking beer at bar Thanksgiving: A Guide to Surviving Your Family

There's a reason we break out the wine at Thanksgiving dinner, and it's not because the turkey's dry. It's because the only way to tolerate your family is soused. If you're single, it'll keep you from decking all the people asking why you're not married, and if you're married, it'll explain why you don't have kids.

Use Television in Place of Conversation

2170448724 0025ab2cc8 Thanksgiving: A Guide to Surviving Your Family

If your uncle wants to talk politics, specifically about how Obummer is a communist Kenyan, turn on the football game. Especially since this year, Nickelback is playing the halftime show at the Lions game, and that sports riot is going to be one to remember.

Have A Way to Escape Right After Pie

CropperCapture11 Thanksgiving: A Guide to Surviving Your Family

Let's face it, Thanksgiving amounts to going on an awkward date with people you know a little too well, so why not treat it like a date? Have a friend text you fifteen minutes after dessert finishes that your gerbil is sick and you need to treat it.

Of course, this really means "Let's sneak beers into the movie theater and avoid our families". But they don't need to know that. My gerbil's been sick for a decade now, and it will be until I get cirrhosis.

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New Advances in RNT

       (Redneck Technology) 



































NOTE: People often ask, "Where in the world do you get these pics??" 
It's really pretty simple – you just follow some of those folks home from Wal-Mart.

 

 

 


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On Nov 22, 10:58 pm, Keith In Tampa <keithinta...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Stu-Stu-Studio!
>
> Do you realize who financed the Obama campaign?

I thought you just wanted to know what the Wall Street protest was
about?

Now you want to know who financed Obama?

The fact is Wall Street finances ALL the politicians dumbass!

Why do think Bush Jr. needed $700 billion in 2 weeks to save Wall
Street?
Because they didn't do anything for him?

Are you that ignorant, or just pretending to be?

You're pretty ignorant for a lawyer.

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In the words of a great American, Ronald Reagan,  "Here We Go Again".
 
I just Googled the story, (which was originally reported by that pillar of news worthiness,  "Think Progress)  and come to find out, this is another myth that is based on a lie perpetrated by the likes of George Soros,  CAIR/The Muslim Brotherhood.
 
Check this out:
 
On Tue, Nov 22, 2011 at 10:27 PM, studio <tlack@hotmail.com> wrote:
On Nov 22, 9:50 pm, Keith In Tampa <keithinta...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Once again Studio,
>
> Please show us some examples of this taking place in the 20th or 21st
> Century.  It just hasn't happened.

???
Generally it doesn't happen because the American people won't let
those Republitards go that far... and you know it!

However it doesn't prevent those same Conservative Republitards from
going overseas to Africa and trying to get them to impose those kinds
of laws.
(another example of Conservative Republitards using people to do their
dirty work).

But it goes beyond just stoning humans to death, animals too:

http://guyism.com/humor/christian-group-demanding-killer-whale-be-stoned-to-death.html
Christian group demanding killer whale be stoned to death

Sea World is attempting to move on after one of its whales, Tillikum,
killed his trainer last week.
One Christian group, the American Family Association, is not quite as
ready to move forward and is demanding retribution..in the form of
stoning Tillikum to death.

But don't worry, Tilly. You wouldn't die alone if it were up to the
American Family Association.
No, they also want Sea World's animal curator, Chuck Thompson, dead
too.
---

But really Keith, when have you let facts get in the way anything you
claim to be true?

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http://www.cracked.com/article_18911_5-ridiculous-things-you-probably-believe-about-islam.html

#5.
If You're a Muslim Woman, You Have to Wear the Veil

So for instance, in France they have about 3 million Muslim women.
French police decided to figure out how many of them wore burqas and/
or niqabs and found the number to be ... 367.
Not 367,000, but 367.

There are actually more Muslim countries that outright ban the wearing
of the veils than there are that require them. They can do that
because wearing a veil is not required in Islam but is more of a
custom, depending on where you live and who's in charge.

Hey, speaking of which, try this number on for size: Of the five most
populous Muslim-majority nations, four of them have elected female
heads of state.

So there's a fantastic chance that in 2012, Sarah Palin will be
campaigning for an achievement that Muslim ladies have already
accomplished.

#4.
Our Founding Fathers Would Never Have Tolerated This Muslim Nonsense!

It's a good thing some Americans are standing up for good old-
fashioned American values and passing laws to prohibit Islamic law
from taking over the U.S., because that's totally around the corner!

John Adams hailed the Islamic prophet Muhammad as one of the great
"inquirers after truth."
Benjamin Rush, who was so Christian he wanted a Bible in every school,
also said he would rather see the opinions of Confucius or Mohammad
"inculcated upon our youth" than see them grow deprived "of a system
of religious principles."
Benjamin Franklin once declared: "Even if the Mufti of Constantinople
were to send a missionary to preach Mohammedanism to us, he would find
a pulpit at his service."
Even George fucking Washington personally welcomed Muslims to come
work for him at Mount Vernon.

Sultan Mohammed ben Abdallah of Morocco was the first world figure to
recognize the independence of the United States of America from Great
Britain in 1777.
Another reason was that the Founding Fathers were smart enough to
distinguish between terrorists and everybody else on the whole damn
planet, as demonstrated in the Treaty of Tripoli in 1797.
It was in this agreement that the U.S. declared:
"The government of the United States of America is not, in any sense,
founded on the Christian Religion, as it has in itself no character of
enmity against the laws, religion or tranquility of Mussulmen
[Moslems]."

#3.
"Muslim" Equals "Arab"

Remember that crazy lady with the Einstein hair who asked John McCain
if Barack Obama was an Arab? No? Well, let us refresh your memory:

We're willing to bet there's more than a 20 percent chance this woman
meant to say "Muslim" but accidentally said "Arab" because same thing,
right?

Only about 20 percent of the entire world's Muslim population is Arab
or North African.
For comparison, about 22 percent of the global Christian population is
African, yet when somebody says "Christian," you don't immediately
picture a dude from Africa.
Equating "Muslim" with "Arab" makes just as much sense.

While we in the West have been conditioned to associate Islam with the
Middle East, a whopping 61.9 percent of all Muslims -- aka a
supermajority -- don't live in the Middle East at all; most Muslims
live in the Asia-Pacific region. Indonesia alone is home to more than
200 million Muslims, and the Indian subcontinent has roughly a half-
billion Muslims.

It works the other way, too. For example, if you think being Arab
guarantees you being Muslim these days, well, we are sorry to
disappoint. As much as 10 percent of the world's Arab population is
Christian (that's more than 14 million people). That means there are 1
million more Arab Christians than, oh, we don't know ... the world's
entire Jewish population..

#2.
Western Cultures Are Far More Humane Than the Bloodthirsty Muslims

Muhammad laid out some pretty progressive rules of warfare, and
medieval Muslims out-niced the Christians in battle by a landslide.
Especially since Muhammad personally issued "a distinct code of
conduct among Islamic warriors" that included:

No killing of women, children or innocents -- these might include
hermits, monks or other religious leaders who were deemed
noncombatants;

No wanton killing of livestock or other animals;

No burning or destruction of trees and orchards; and

No destruction of wells.

In short, Muhammad wanted his armies to fight like freaking hippies.
During the fucking Dark Ages.
And they did.

#1.
Islam Is Stuck in the Dark Ages

Science and math as we know it wouldn't even exist without Islam. The
Islamic Golden Age caused a revolution in virtually every field of
human thought, during which they fucking invented algebra -- and
advanced everything from geography and exploration to the arts,
architecture, philosophy, urban development, medicine and health.

The Muslims actually came pretty damn close to sharing all this
brilliance with the truly ass-backward kingdoms of Christian Europe,
since the Islamic caliphates blanketed every country they conquered
with schools, libraries, public works and the most comprehensive
system of social welfare on the planet. In fact, the case has been
made that if the caliphates succeeded in conquering all of Europe an
Italian Renaissance would have been unnecessary.

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Stu-Stu-Studio!
 
Do you realize who financed the Obama campaign? 
 
Do you understand these three simple words:  "Community Reinvestment Act"? 
 
How do we explain the following?
 
 
 
 
 


 
On Tue, Nov 22, 2011 at 10:31 PM, studio <tlack@hotmail.com> wrote:
On Nov 22, 10:20 pm, Keith In Tampa <keithinta...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Uhm?
>
> What is the Occupy Wall Street all about Studio?

If you paid even the minimal amount of attention to it, instead of
watching Fox News and drinking martinis, you would know.

It's about getting Wall Street financial money out of politics.
It's about Wall Street greed and kickbacks going to politicians who
bail them out with taxpayer money.

But since you watch Fox News, you wouldn't know that would you?
Just remain the good old dumb ignorant Keith we've all come to laugh
at and ignore.

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On Nov 22, 10:20 pm, Keith In Tampa <keithinta...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Uhm?
>
> What is the Occupy Wall Street all about Studio?

If you paid even the minimal amount of attention to it, instead of
watching Fox News and drinking martinis, you would know.

It's about getting Wall Street financial money out of politics.
It's about Wall Street greed and kickbacks going to politicians who
bail them out with taxpayer money.

But since you watch Fox News, you wouldn't know that would you?
Just remain the good old dumb ignorant Keith we've all come to laugh
at and ignore.

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On Nov 22, 9:50 pm, Keith In Tampa <keithinta...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Once again Studio,
>
> Please show us some examples of this taking place in the 20th or 21st
> Century.  It just hasn't happened.

???
Generally it doesn't happen because the American people won't let
those Republitards go that far... and you know it!

However it doesn't prevent those same Conservative Republitards from
going overseas to Africa and trying to get them to impose those kinds
of laws.
(another example of Conservative Republitards using people to do their
dirty work).

But it goes beyond just stoning humans to death, animals too:

http://guyism.com/humor/christian-group-demanding-killer-whale-be-stoned-to-death.html
Christian group demanding killer whale be stoned to death

Sea World is attempting to move on after one of its whales, Tillikum,
killed his trainer last week.
One Christian group, the American Family Association, is not quite as
ready to move forward and is demanding retribution..in the form of
stoning Tillikum to death.

But don't worry, Tilly. You wouldn't die alone if it were up to the
American Family Association.
No, they also want Sea World's animal curator, Chuck Thompson, dead
too.
---

But really Keith, when have you let facts get in the way anything you
claim to be true?

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Uhm?
 
What is the Occupy Wall Street all about Studio?  
 

 
On Tue, Nov 22, 2011 at 8:21 PM, studio <tlack@hotmail.com> wrote:
Another lame attempt to redirect what OWS is really about.

Plus you're citing it from the pure evil that is Fox News???

Megan Kelly should be sprayed in the face with the Pepper spray she
refers to as "...a food product".

Fox News is PURE evil... Satan himself couldn't have a better ally.

You're going to have to do better than that!

OWS OWS OWS OWS OWS...
Gooooo OWS!!!

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On Nov 22, 9:53 pm, GregfromBoston <greg.vinc...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> Its also the home of Harry Reid's religion.
>
> so much for article VI

Reid is running for President?
I'll remember I heard it from you first.

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On Nov 22, 10:05 pm, Keith In Tampa <keithinta...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Yes Studio,  I imagine in your eyes,  FOX News, as well as the internet and
> other sources of news which gets the truth out and reveals far left
> extremism is evil.

Well, you're right about them getting the truth out anyway.... and
replacing them with lies!

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On Nov 21, 2:54 pm, plainolamerican <plainolameri...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Man creates god in his own imagination to suit his own needs in order
> to find a grand purpose for life
>
> Read more:http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Who_or_what_created_God#ixzz1eN64ktuo

Absolutely.

Why would God look like a man with a penis?
Why does God need a penis?
Who does God have sex with?
Another woman God?
Is there a Mrs. God?
God had a child Jesus... are there other children God has we don't
know about?
Sounds like a whole family of God's up there.
If we are God's children, then why hasn't he paid child support?
Why hasn't God worked in 6,000 years since he created the universe?
He's omnipotent! He's God! He can't claim he's tired or retired.

God sounds like a deadbeat dad... and certainly not a dad you could be
proud of knowing.

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On Tue, Nov 22, 2011 at 10:02 PM, studio <tlack@hotmail.com> wrote:
On Nov 21, 2:54 pm, plainolamerican <plainolameri...@gmail.com> wrote:
> We'd have progress if Republitards weren't so anti-science
> ---
> cite reference

You should cite your own as you're obviously not paying attention to
the cuts they want to make, or the funding they won't provide certain
critical endeavors.

But here you go:

1. Mr. Hunstman has been willing to say the unsayable about the G.O.P.
— namely, that it is becoming the "anti-science party."
This is an enormously important development. And it should terrify
us.

Mr. Perry, the governor of Texas, recently made headlines by
dismissing evolution as "just a theory," one that has "got some gaps
in it"
— an observation that will come as news to the vast majority of
biologists.

A 2010 Gallup Poll found that a majority of Republicans believe that
"God created humans in present form within the last 10,000 years."
Potential presidents Rick Perry and Michele Bachmann see more evidence
for creationism and intelligent design than they do for evolution.

2. Michael Bloomberg said; "We have presidential candidates who don't
believe in science. "I mean, just think about it, can you imagine a
company of any size in the world where the CEO said 'oh I don't
believe in science' and that person surviving to the end of that day?
Are you kidding me? It's mind-boggling!"

3. Bush Jr. prohibited federal funding for stem cell research and
cloning activities... but rest assured, just because the US stops it,
doesn't mean other countries did, and those other countries will
benefit with your $'s in medical cures, medicines and treatments.
Bush, for instance, had half as many Ph.D.s in his cabinet as Clinton
had two years into his term.
It took 20 months to choose an FDA director, 14 months to choose an
NIH director, and seven months to choose a White House science adviser
for the Office of Science and Technology Policy. Once Bush had
appointed a head of OSTP, he demoted the rank of the position, moved
the office out of the White House, and cut the number of associate
directors from four to two.

(It took so long because he had to find the right .1% of scientists
who agree with his positions, or are willing to keep their mouth
shut).

4. Or the Solyndra hearings in front of Congressional investigation
committee now...

A company put on fast track for loans by the Bush Jr. admin... but
after Obama became President, Republican oil operatives had oil execs
invest heavily into solar panel development in China in order for the
Solyndra company to collapse and make Obama look bad!
This is how the pro-jobs Republitards are creating high tech high
paying jobs! In other countries, not here!

>  and pro-God...

And that's precisely why they're anti-science.
Beliefs trump facts with them. Politics and religion comes first, not
facts or people.

The irony of course is that the Neo-Cons are the exact opposite of
what they once were.
Much like their counterparts in crime the Taliban, they are more
interested in going backwards in time, to a simpler time, than moving
forward and dealing with complex issues.
They want blind obedience.... in short a Utopia of worker bees all
looking to do what the queen tells them to. And then they say; "that
isn't socialism"!

i.e. it was Abraham Lincoln who created the National Academy of
Sciences in 1863
or Teddy Roosevelt who created The National Park Service to preserve
lands in their pristine condition for future generations
or William McKinley, a president much admired by Karl Rove, won two
presidential victories over the creationist Democrat William Jennings
Bryan, and supported the creation of the Bureau of Standards,
forerunner of today's National Institutes of Science and Technology.
or Dwight Eisenhower, who established the post of White House science
adviser
or Richard Nixon who created the EPA... (take a look at La's current
bad smog... if not for the EPA, LA would literally be uninhabitable by
now).

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Yes Studio,  I imagine in your eyes,  FOX News, as well as the internet and other sources of news which gets the truth out and reveals far left extremism is evil. 
 
 
On Tue, Nov 22, 2011 at 8:26 PM, studio <tlack@hotmail.com> wrote:
"Satan make me rich and powerful to brainwash the minions to do your
bidding, and I will give you my soul" - Rupert Murdoch

Fox News is pure evil folks, pure evil.

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On Nov 21, 2:54 pm, plainolamerican <plainolameri...@gmail.com> wrote:
> We'd have progress if Republitards weren't so anti-science
> ---
> cite reference

You should cite your own as you're obviously not paying attention to
the cuts they want to make, or the funding they won't provide certain
critical endeavors.

But here you go:

1. Mr. Hunstman has been willing to say the unsayable about the G.O.P.
— namely, that it is becoming the "anti-science party."
This is an enormously important development. And it should terrify
us.

Mr. Perry, the governor of Texas, recently made headlines by
dismissing evolution as "just a theory," one that has "got some gaps
in it"
— an observation that will come as news to the vast majority of
biologists.

A 2010 Gallup Poll found that a majority of Republicans believe that
"God created humans in present form within the last 10,000 years."
Potential presidents Rick Perry and Michele Bachmann see more evidence
for creationism and intelligent design than they do for evolution.

2. Michael Bloomberg said; "We have presidential candidates who don't
believe in science. "I mean, just think about it, can you imagine a
company of any size in the world where the CEO said 'oh I don't
believe in science' and that person surviving to the end of that day?
Are you kidding me? It's mind-boggling!"

3. Bush Jr. prohibited federal funding for stem cell research and
cloning activities... but rest assured, just because the US stops it,
doesn't mean other countries did, and those other countries will
benefit with your $'s in medical cures, medicines and treatments.
Bush, for instance, had half as many Ph.D.s in his cabinet as Clinton
had two years into his term.
It took 20 months to choose an FDA director, 14 months to choose an
NIH director, and seven months to choose a White House science adviser
for the Office of Science and Technology Policy. Once Bush had
appointed a head of OSTP, he demoted the rank of the position, moved
the office out of the White House, and cut the number of associate
directors from four to two.

(It took so long because he had to find the right .1% of scientists
who agree with his positions, or are willing to keep their mouth
shut).

4. Or the Solyndra hearings in front of Congressional investigation
committee now...

A company put on fast track for loans by the Bush Jr. admin... but
after Obama became President, Republican oil operatives had oil execs
invest heavily into solar panel development in China in order for the
Solyndra company to collapse and make Obama look bad!
This is how the pro-jobs Republitards are creating high tech high
paying jobs! In other countries, not here!

> and pro-God...

And that's precisely why they're anti-science.
Beliefs trump facts with them. Politics and religion comes first, not
facts or people.

The irony of course is that the Neo-Cons are the exact opposite of
what they once were.
Much like their counterparts in crime the Taliban, they are more
interested in going backwards in time, to a simpler time, than moving
forward and dealing with complex issues.
They want blind obedience.... in short a Utopia of worker bees all
looking to do what the queen tells them to. And then they say; "that
isn't socialism"!

i.e. it was Abraham Lincoln who created the National Academy of
Sciences in 1863
or Teddy Roosevelt who created The National Park Service to preserve
lands in their pristine condition for future generations
or William McKinley, a president much admired by Karl Rove, won two
presidential victories over the creationist Democrat William Jennings
Bryan, and supported the creation of the Bureau of Standards,
forerunner of today's National Institutes of Science and Technology.
or Dwight Eisenhower, who established the post of White House science
adviser
or Richard Nixon who created the EPA... (take a look at La's current
bad smog... if not for the EPA, LA would literally be uninhabitable by
now).

--
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* Visit our other community at http://www.PoliticalForum.com/
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* Read the latest breaking news, and more.

As stated previously,  this is another lie by far left extremist Think Progress. The "Declaration of Dependence of the Marriage Vow" signed by Bachmann defends against "American children from human trafficking, sexual slavery, seduction into promiscuity and all forms of pornography and prostitution, infanticide, abortion and other types o fcoercion or stolen innocence."
 
Apparently Think Progress and its financial supporters George Soros CAIR and the Muslim Brotherhood are opposed to this notion. 

 

On Tue, Nov 22, 2011 at 9:53 PM, GregfromBoston <greg.vincent@yahoo.com> wrote:
Its also the home of Harry Reid's religion.

so much for article VI

On Nov 22, 8:40 pm, studio <tl...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> Forgot to add...
> it's ironic that Utah (the home of Mitt Romney's Mormon religion) is
> the biggest consumer, as per percentage of population, of pornography
> than any other state in the union?
>
> So it could have well been a dig at him.
>
> But really who knows what she would do, because all any voter can do
> with any of these people running for President is either guess or hope
> their feelings are transposed on them.
>
> On Nov 22, 8:33 pm, studio <tl...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>
> > Isn't it amazing how these hypocritical Republitards do social
> > engineering?
>
> > They want you to keep all your tax money, but then inject themselves
> > with taxpayer money into peoples personal life with how one should
> > lead their life according to their standards?- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

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Its also the home of Harry Reid's religion.

so much for article VI

On Nov 22, 8:40 pm, studio <tl...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> Forgot to add...
> it's ironic that Utah (the home of Mitt Romney's Mormon religion) is
> the biggest consumer, as per percentage of population, of pornography
> than any other state in the union?
>
> So it could have well been a dig at him.
>
> But really who knows what she would do, because all any voter can do
> with any of these people running for President is either guess or hope
> their feelings are transposed on them.
>
> On Nov 22, 8:33 pm, studio <tl...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>
> > Isn't it amazing how these hypocritical Republitards do social
> > engineering?
>
> > They want you to keep all your tax money, but then inject themselves
> > with taxpayer money into peoples personal life with how one should
> > lead their life according to their standards?- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

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Once again Studio,
 
Please show us some examples of this taking place in the 20th or 21st Century.  It just hasn't happened. 

On Tue, Nov 22, 2011 at 8:46 PM, studio <tlack@hotmail.com> wrote:
On Nov 21, 3:08 pm, plainolamerican <plainolameri...@gmail.com> wrote:
> fundamentalist Christians would have people stoned to death
> ---
> that would be the muzzies and jews

Yeah right, fundamentalist Christians would never do that...
you either don't know what a fundamentalist Christian is, don't
understand fundamentalist Christianity, or are lying.

Fundamentalist Christians take the Bible literally... and stoning is a
perfectly legitimate, literal punishment in the Bible bonehead.

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It is also a sign of obarfo's age, IQ, and number of white parents.

New post on Fellowship of the Minds

The History of the Middle Finger Salute

by Dave

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers.

Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree,
and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew").

Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, "See, we can still pluck yew"!

Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative 'F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute!

It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird."

And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing!

-Dave 

(h/t: my brother)

 

 

 

 

 

Dave | November 22, 2011 at 3:24 pm | Tags: Humor | Categories: Humor | URL: http://wp.me/pKuKY-aMY

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0


New post on Fellowship of the Minds

You Could Have Heard a Pin Drop

by lowtechgrannie

This one has been around for awhile; but, a neighbor just emailed it to me and I think it deserves being brought to mind again. ~LTG

At a time when our president and other politicians tend to apologize for our country's prior actions, here's a refresher on how some of our former patriots handled negative comments about our country.

These stories are good reminders of how proud and thankful we should always be as Americans:

JFK'S Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, was in France in the early 60's when DeGaule decided to pull out of NATO. DeGaule said he wanted all US military out of France as soon as possible.


Rusk responded,
"Does that include those who are buried here?"

DeGaule did not respond.


You could have heard a pin drop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


When in England ,
at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of 'empire building' by George Bush.

He answered by saying,
"Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return."

You could have heard a pin drop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


There was a conference in France
where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break, one of the French engineers came back into the room saying, "Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intend to do, bomb them?"

A Boeing engineer
stood up and replied quietly: "Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?"

You could have heard a pin drop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A U.S. Navy Admiral
was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S. , English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of officers that included personnel from most of those countries.

Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English. He then asked, "Why is it thatwe always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?"

Without hesitating,
the American Admiral replied, "Maybe it's because the Brit's, Canadians, Aussie's and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German."

You could have heard a pin drop.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE...


Robert Whiting,
  an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on.

"You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically.


Mr. Whiting
admitted that he had been to France previously.

"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."


The American said,
"The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible. Americans always have to show their passports on arrival in France !"


The American senior
gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained, ''Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find a single Frenchman to show a passport to."

You could have heard a pin drop.

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