Romney Chooses Betty White As Running Mate
Mitt and Bett in 2012 - coming soon to an early bird special near you!
FREMONT, Calif. (CAP) - In a move that has stunned Washington insiders, Republican Presidential nominee Mitt Romney has chosen America's favorite elderly white-haired comedienne Betty White as his running mate. The announcement came on the heels of Romney's visit to the headquarters of the bankrupt Solyndra solar energy company.
"We felt that it was important for Mitt to pick an individual who would generate a favorable buzz and a limited amount of controversy, and frankly I think he's done that," said a source close to the Romney campaign. "After all, is there anyone out there who isn't a fan of Betty White these days? She's categorically adorable. I think she'll make a great Vice President."
He added, "Not only that, but when Betty White makes bizarre and inappropriate statements at inopportune times, people will laugh and cheer, instead of feeling uncomfortable the way they do whenever Joe Biden opens his mouth."
The source noted that it was not initially easy to get White on board for the VP project. The actress's long and varied career has been experiencing a resurgence since the early years of 2000; she has a new series on ABC this season and has been in talks to host another upcoming episode of Saturday Night Live.
Despite her current nearly universal appeal, White's handlers were reportedly worried that associating with Mitt Romney might negatively affect her popularity.
GOP officials have also expressed concern that Betty White may prove to be another unsuccessful dark-horse VP pick, similar to 2008 nominee John McCain's disastrous choice of Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin. However, as one state representative recently told CNN, the general consensus on both sides of the aisle is that Betty White is "infinitely more self-aware and likeable" than Palin and also "better at reading cue-cards."
As Romney's critics have pointed out, Betty White is also 90 years old and a registered Democrat.
"But none of those impediments were going to get in Mitt's way," said a former aide, who left the Romney campaign shortly after the pick was announced. "He wanted Betty White for VP, and he was going to get her. Every time we voiced our reservations, he would just start quoting that muffin sketch she did on SNL that everyone loves.
"As though having excellent comic timing somehow gives Betty White authority as an economic strategist," the former aide added.
One Republican official put it more bluntly. "Romney has lost his mind if he thinks the American public will put a nonagenarian actress with no political background a heartbeat away from the presidency," he said.
"Although I suppose it could have been worse," he noted. "Betty White's no politician, but she's got her head on straight, more or less. If Romney had wanted a candidate who was a flat-out total nightmare, I suppose he could have gone with Paul Ryan."
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